Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. ~Mark Twain
On my journey of life, I seem to be learning something new every day. Today, I learned a little about pride and a lot about what my new church family means to me.
I have come through the hardest part of my life and I am so happy to say that tonight, for the first time, I truly am looking back from the other side of it all. Sometimes, when something happens that shatters your entire life, it takes a while to find all the pieces and put them back together. Tonight I realized that, sometimes, God helps us to find new pieces that fit us even better than the old ones we lost.
Two years ago, I tried out a new church for the first time since I was 8 years old. It was a whole new world to me. Luckily, I already knew a few people at this church, and I felt like it was a good place for me to be. I knew God was telling me to go there, and I quickly dove right in. I immediately volunteered to help in any way possible, and was promptly given the responsibility of running the sound system for our Wednesday night youth services.
It was ok at first, but I quickly began to feel uncomfortable with the responsibility. I felt weighed down, and ultimately I was very scared that I would get myself involved at this church, in the way I was so deeply involved at my last one, and that, in the end, I would be hurt again. So, I ended up resigning from my volunteer position. After that I was embarrassed by the fact that I went back on my word and bailed on my commitment, so I stopped going to that church. For a long time I didn't go to church at all. I was a broken person, and I didn't know what to do.
Eventually, after trying out a few different churches around town, I KNEW that I needed to go back to the church I left from so embarrassed. So, I wrote the youth leader an email, and tried my best to explain my reasoning behind everything. Thankfully, he was fully understanding and I started fresh again at that church, determined to do nothing but warm a seat and find myself in God once again.
It has been over a year that I have been back at Metroplex Family Church and I am so happy that God lead me there. For a long time, all I did was attend service, warming the seat closest to the back door every single Sunday morning. However, as I am sure I am destined to forever do, I eventually got involved with the youth ministry.
Tonight, as I was on my way to a youth game night, I stopped at a Quick Trip to get some gas. I turned my car off, leaving the key in the ignition, and before I realized it, locked and closed my door. GREAT. Locked out of my car. To top it all off, the key locked in the ignition was my SPARE, as I had recently lost my original and haven't made another copy yet. Wonderful.
So, I called my dad, and when I realized he wouldn't be able to help me, I called my best friend. When she told me she didn't know exactly how she could help me either, I felt a little hopeless. I may have even teared up, but I am not going to fully admit that. =)
Finally, I decided to text the youth pastor, since I knew he would be heading out that way for the game night. A few minutes later, he and two youth came and rescued me by using a wire coat hanger to unlock my doors!
They have NO idea what this meant to me.
My last church was like family to me. I had known them all since childhood, and as I made the transition to this new church, I must admit, it has been very difficult for me to make friends. Maybe it is my own fault for being closed off, but either way, I have CRAVED the family feeling I have always known. At times, I have considered trying out a different church, certain that it CAN'T be this hard to form relationships everywhere...
Tonight I learned that the people at my church DO care for me and do work as a part of the Body of Christ by helping one another out in every day, REAL life ways. I am thankful for this knowledge and these relationships. It seems like the one thing that I have been missing for the past two years has finally found me again.
The people in my life mean EVERYTHING to me, and I am so thrilled to be a part of this church. Thanks, guys, for your help! It meant more to me than just saving on the expense of calling a locksmith.
What a night!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Saturday, November 20, 2010
11-20-2010
DEDICATED TO WAL~MART STORE 590...
Blessed are the people whose leaders can look destiny in the eye without flinching but also without attempting to play God...
~Henry A. Kissinger
Tonight, as I write this, I am utterly overwhelmed with the thought of how completely blessed I really am. This week has been one of great joy, great trial and great learning opportunities...
Two years ago, on November 22, 2008, I started my day off on what I thought was a brand new personal low. It was my first day at my new job at Wal~Mart. I was a sales floor associate in the Electronics department, and that wasn't bad, but it felt like utter failure after where I had just come from...
You see, for the two years prior to the Wal~Mart (the sguiggly is VERY important) employment, I was working and living in my absolute dream world. As a Bible school graduate, I felt that I was in the exact right place and with perfect timing when I became Media Director of a local church, whose Pastor I loved and grew up around. The work was stressful and crazy, but I loved it more than anything, and over time the Pastor and his family became like family to me. Maybe even more than some of my actual family. Life was good, and it seemed to only get better...
I didn't know I would be so called to Youth Ministry until, in utter desperation, they made me an assistant youth leader. I was scared to death of being judged by large quantities of teenagers, but soon found my groove and loved each and every second of it. My job was amazing, even though it was getting even more busy at the same time...
As a young child, I had always felt a strong calling on my life to be a missionary, and had even been on several overseas trips. In all the greatness going on as the church grew, I was given yet another title, and this one completed the package... my dream title: Missions Director. Wow. And even busier... Hmmm...
Eventually all the stress of never having a day off, and constantly dealing with meetings and commitments, I started to notice something. I wasn't the only person feeling this tension. It seemed that something wasn't quite right, and I would eventually be proven correct in my assumptions. The church eventually changed Pastors, changed its name, and all but completely shut down in my opinion. Somewhere in the midst of this, right before all the changing hands madness, I was let go...
It hurt bad enough to see the very church I poured my life into being changed in such ways, but losing my job in the manner I did crushed everything I ever thought I was or could be. I became a very, very broken person. I also found myself scrambling for a job...
As the broken person I was, all dreams seemingly thrown in the garbage can, I entered the secular job market in a very unique way. My first day at Wal~Mart felt like I had hit rock bottom. Was I really at the point where I had to work at WAL~MART??? What had become of my dreams? What had become of actually changing the world? What had become of who I was as a person? I had no idea who I was anymore...
I spent a long, long time feeling this way. Every day I would go into work and paint a big smile on my face all while acting like my insides were not slowly melting out. I didn't want anyone to know how much I had lost. I didn't want anyone to know me. I didn't know me. I don't think I WANTED to know me. Every single, solitary day was an extreme challenge for me...
Eventually I promoted out of the Electronics Dept. As I was talking with some of my former Electronics co workers, one named Natalie asked me this one simple question: "Why are you moving into a management position?". I did not hesitate to tell her that I felt like I HAD to make this move. I cried my eyes out and told her how I had fallen from what seemed like such a high place to what I considered to be a den of utter failure. Did this conversation solve my self esteem issues? No. But it did help me feel a little better and Natalie understood and sent me on with well wishes. I loved that girl...
A short stint as a Front End manager, overseeing all cashiers, door greeters, customer service, etc, and I met a wonderful manager named Leroy. I had seem him around the store before, but never really got to know him at all before this position. I got along well with him, and I still think he is one of the BEST managers I have ever seen in action. He quickly informed me that I would be a very good candidate for Department Manager in our store, and he even suggested I interview for Dept. Manager over the Pharmacy. I did, and for the past 10 months, that is what I have been doing. It was challenging, and in a way that caused me to grow by leaps and bounds as a manager and as a person...
Today, as I write this, I am reflecting on the fact that have again promoted, and will be starting a new job again this Monday (my 2 yr. anniversary with the company). Only this time it is a very different kind of promotion, as it is not only a promotion, but a transfer. I said goodbye to Wal~Mart store 590 yesterday, and in that instant realized something...
I am no longer that very, very broken person. Also, I know, without a doubt, that I came into this job with the wrong attitude. I learned this from saying goodbye over the last three days. Saying goodbye to a store of over 500 associates, many of which, became close friends. On Wednesday I said goodbye to Leroy, and I nearly cried, as he was just as encouraging as he has always been to me. I appreciate his leadership. He has done a lot for my career, and for that I will always be thankful. I hope to model a lot of my leadership after his...
On Thursday, I said goodbye to many more friends who would not be there on Friday, their day off. One of notable mention, is CSM Terri. She worked the front end with me for those short 4 months, and I always admired her dedicated hard work ethics and her easy going spirit. Those are two things that are difficult to mingle in one personality, but she does it well. There were many times where she would forget to be laid back, and it showed, but I think we all love her for that. After all Wal~Mart is Wal~Mart and it can certainly push a person to their limits...
On Friday, I said goodbye to all kinds of magnificent friends and I even had someone come up to me, hug me and tell me how much she would miss me. Too bad I had no idea who she was. Like I said, this is a store of over 500 employees. It happens...
I feel very blessed to be moving on to a new position in the company. I also feel very blessed to have been a part of the company to begin with, even though I had to learn a whole lot to begin to feel that way. You see, when one door closes, it is said that another one opens. If you are going through a hard time in your life, please know that there is still opportunity out there. You can STILL live you dreams. It is never too late. Am I living my dreams? I would say no, because apparently I am not fully living them out, but I have to say that also, in a way, I am. I am living in my dreams in that I am following a plan, with the help of Wally World, to set me up financially to be able to chase my dreams in a way I never could have imagined, even when I THOUGHT I was already living my dreams out. Never give up...
On Another Note: Of all the goodbyes I have said while working at Store 590, there is one that I will never forget, and I said it LONG before I said goodbye to everyone else. R.I.P Natalie. You will always be missed.
Also: If you are wondering why I ended every single paragraph with ... (multiple periods rather than the single definitive one)it is because I feel like this blog is the beginning of something, and that nothing I said is very definitive at all, nor has it come to any sort of end. The best is always yet to come...
Blessed are the people whose leaders can look destiny in the eye without flinching but also without attempting to play God...
~Henry A. Kissinger
Tonight, as I write this, I am utterly overwhelmed with the thought of how completely blessed I really am. This week has been one of great joy, great trial and great learning opportunities...
Two years ago, on November 22, 2008, I started my day off on what I thought was a brand new personal low. It was my first day at my new job at Wal~Mart. I was a sales floor associate in the Electronics department, and that wasn't bad, but it felt like utter failure after where I had just come from...
You see, for the two years prior to the Wal~Mart (the sguiggly is VERY important) employment, I was working and living in my absolute dream world. As a Bible school graduate, I felt that I was in the exact right place and with perfect timing when I became Media Director of a local church, whose Pastor I loved and grew up around. The work was stressful and crazy, but I loved it more than anything, and over time the Pastor and his family became like family to me. Maybe even more than some of my actual family. Life was good, and it seemed to only get better...
I didn't know I would be so called to Youth Ministry until, in utter desperation, they made me an assistant youth leader. I was scared to death of being judged by large quantities of teenagers, but soon found my groove and loved each and every second of it. My job was amazing, even though it was getting even more busy at the same time...
As a young child, I had always felt a strong calling on my life to be a missionary, and had even been on several overseas trips. In all the greatness going on as the church grew, I was given yet another title, and this one completed the package... my dream title: Missions Director. Wow. And even busier... Hmmm...
Eventually all the stress of never having a day off, and constantly dealing with meetings and commitments, I started to notice something. I wasn't the only person feeling this tension. It seemed that something wasn't quite right, and I would eventually be proven correct in my assumptions. The church eventually changed Pastors, changed its name, and all but completely shut down in my opinion. Somewhere in the midst of this, right before all the changing hands madness, I was let go...
It hurt bad enough to see the very church I poured my life into being changed in such ways, but losing my job in the manner I did crushed everything I ever thought I was or could be. I became a very, very broken person. I also found myself scrambling for a job...
As the broken person I was, all dreams seemingly thrown in the garbage can, I entered the secular job market in a very unique way. My first day at Wal~Mart felt like I had hit rock bottom. Was I really at the point where I had to work at WAL~MART??? What had become of my dreams? What had become of actually changing the world? What had become of who I was as a person? I had no idea who I was anymore...
I spent a long, long time feeling this way. Every day I would go into work and paint a big smile on my face all while acting like my insides were not slowly melting out. I didn't want anyone to know how much I had lost. I didn't want anyone to know me. I didn't know me. I don't think I WANTED to know me. Every single, solitary day was an extreme challenge for me...
Eventually I promoted out of the Electronics Dept. As I was talking with some of my former Electronics co workers, one named Natalie asked me this one simple question: "Why are you moving into a management position?". I did not hesitate to tell her that I felt like I HAD to make this move. I cried my eyes out and told her how I had fallen from what seemed like such a high place to what I considered to be a den of utter failure. Did this conversation solve my self esteem issues? No. But it did help me feel a little better and Natalie understood and sent me on with well wishes. I loved that girl...
A short stint as a Front End manager, overseeing all cashiers, door greeters, customer service, etc, and I met a wonderful manager named Leroy. I had seem him around the store before, but never really got to know him at all before this position. I got along well with him, and I still think he is one of the BEST managers I have ever seen in action. He quickly informed me that I would be a very good candidate for Department Manager in our store, and he even suggested I interview for Dept. Manager over the Pharmacy. I did, and for the past 10 months, that is what I have been doing. It was challenging, and in a way that caused me to grow by leaps and bounds as a manager and as a person...
Today, as I write this, I am reflecting on the fact that have again promoted, and will be starting a new job again this Monday (my 2 yr. anniversary with the company). Only this time it is a very different kind of promotion, as it is not only a promotion, but a transfer. I said goodbye to Wal~Mart store 590 yesterday, and in that instant realized something...
I am no longer that very, very broken person. Also, I know, without a doubt, that I came into this job with the wrong attitude. I learned this from saying goodbye over the last three days. Saying goodbye to a store of over 500 associates, many of which, became close friends. On Wednesday I said goodbye to Leroy, and I nearly cried, as he was just as encouraging as he has always been to me. I appreciate his leadership. He has done a lot for my career, and for that I will always be thankful. I hope to model a lot of my leadership after his...
On Thursday, I said goodbye to many more friends who would not be there on Friday, their day off. One of notable mention, is CSM Terri. She worked the front end with me for those short 4 months, and I always admired her dedicated hard work ethics and her easy going spirit. Those are two things that are difficult to mingle in one personality, but she does it well. There were many times where she would forget to be laid back, and it showed, but I think we all love her for that. After all Wal~Mart is Wal~Mart and it can certainly push a person to their limits...
On Friday, I said goodbye to all kinds of magnificent friends and I even had someone come up to me, hug me and tell me how much she would miss me. Too bad I had no idea who she was. Like I said, this is a store of over 500 employees. It happens...
I feel very blessed to be moving on to a new position in the company. I also feel very blessed to have been a part of the company to begin with, even though I had to learn a whole lot to begin to feel that way. You see, when one door closes, it is said that another one opens. If you are going through a hard time in your life, please know that there is still opportunity out there. You can STILL live you dreams. It is never too late. Am I living my dreams? I would say no, because apparently I am not fully living them out, but I have to say that also, in a way, I am. I am living in my dreams in that I am following a plan, with the help of Wally World, to set me up financially to be able to chase my dreams in a way I never could have imagined, even when I THOUGHT I was already living my dreams out. Never give up...
On Another Note: Of all the goodbyes I have said while working at Store 590, there is one that I will never forget, and I said it LONG before I said goodbye to everyone else. R.I.P Natalie. You will always be missed.
Also: If you are wondering why I ended every single paragraph with ... (multiple periods rather than the single definitive one)it is because I feel like this blog is the beginning of something, and that nothing I said is very definitive at all, nor has it come to any sort of end. The best is always yet to come...
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