It has been forever and a minute since I have blogged or even sent out an update. Three months in America whizzed by and I am so happy that I got to touch base (personally) with so many of you all, my friends, family and supporters. I thank you all so much for your hospitality while I was in the DFW area and I look forward to maintaining these very important friendships for life. To those who I did not get the chance to meet with personally, because of conflicts of schedule, I hope that we will make it work the next time I am in town.
So, how has life been since I have been back in Albania? Well it started off with a bang. Literally. I arrived in country on the 30th of December. The next day was New Year's Eve, and if you have any sort of fear of loud noises or fireworks, Albania may not be the place for you on this particular holiday. I was very happy to be back to celebrate the most important holiday of the year with my friends in Albania. At midnight the skies light up with fireworks from seemingly every single house in the city. It is a beautiful sight to behold. A small child once said "Its like a beautiful, beautiful war.". I concur. This year the fireworks were a little short-lived because it was VERY cold outside. For the last week of December and the first week of January, Albania experienced a very harsh cold snap, sending lows plummeting to near 0 degrees Fahrenheit. I am thankful for the fleece blanket one of the sweet ladies in my church bought me while I was home. I used it a lot during that cold snap. I also finally gave in and got an electric blanket, which has made all the difference. Now my bed is cozy at night. Just hoping it doesn't affect the electric bill too much!
The work here in Elbasan is going strong and I am happy to see the direction things are going. One of the main purposes of serving as a missionary is to empower the people to reach their own for Christ and to help one another. This spring, I am very proud to say, after only a few months, I will be handing off the Elbasan youth church to a team of young Christian Albanians. Their leadership and commitment thus far has been top notch and I am amazed at how much God has built a strong leadership team amongst us already. I will be honored to let them carry on that work and I know that they can be 10 times (if not more) more effective than I can be, because they will be reaching their own culture, and their own people. God has really done a beautiful work in this Youth Church.
As for working in the Roma area, the girls are reading books now and are probably going to be married off soon, as is cultural for them. I am very happy to have served these 4 years building them in their knowledge and in their faith in Jesus. I cannot wait to see how this new generation of Christian girls run their families and how their faith will affect their households and in turn that entire neighborhood. I am sad that this will be our last year of school, but I couldn't be prouder of everything we have accomplished. I know that God holds them in His hands and that He will lead them and guide them now as they become adults in their culture.
So, having said all of that, some of you may be wondering if my time in Albania is coming to a close, because it seems like the works here are no longer in need of my help. While that is true, the change will not be as big as me coming back to America to live. I know that God has called me to Albania and I truley cannot wait for my next adventure to begin. I have been offered a great opportunity to help a church in another city in Albania. The city is called Korce and I will be moving there in May. Having been to Korce many times before, I have a great relationship with a church there. The church has grown by leaps and bounds and the Pastor has asked me to come and help create some new outreaches that the church has had on their hearts to do for a very long time. I am in awe of how God has lined everything up to work out for all of us in just the right timing and I cannot wait to see the amazing works He will do in this new city and new adventure. I cannot wait to bring you more news, and believe me, there is more good news coming from Albania very soon. Stay tuned!
I want to thank each and every one of you for your friendship, love, prayers and financial support. Without you, none of this would be possible.
Thanks for reading,
Julie
To give a donation online towards the work Julie does in Albania, click here: DONATE
Friday, January 23, 2015
Friday, December 26, 2014
Seasons
Life.
It seems like it is full of seasons. When you're little, life is like a dream. You eat, play, exist comfortably, go to school, come home and no one really bursts your little fairy-tale-world-bubble.
Then you become a teenager, and a struggle begins that can never end. Its all about independence and trust. You are fighting for both at every turn, but little do you realize...
...adulthood.
It means independence to the fullest. No one is ever going to buy your new pair of jeans again. No one is going to pay your bills. No one is going to fight your battles and no one is going to dream your dreams either.
Then there's trust.
Its something that I am personally rediscovering at many different moments over and over and over again. I lay it down, I let it go. I forget to trust, just for a moment. Then I realize, I need to trust. Trust that God will show me how to make ends meet. Trust that my friends will keep the secret I shared with them. Trust people not to break my heart.
Trust.
Seasons and trust seem so intertwined. To step into anything new in life, there has to be an element of trust. Starting a new job requires that we trust ourselves to do what is required of us. Getting involved in a new relationship requires us to trust someone else with our heart that we have guarded ever so carefully. Moving to a new place requires trust in God, that He will lead and direct us.
I have to say that on this road I have traveled, I have learned a lot about trust. To trust is to relax and let be. To trust, in a lot of ways, is to let go. Let go of old ideas. Let go of insecurities in abundance. Let go of thoughts that ask "what if?".
To some extent, I believe that trust and maturity go hand in hand. Seasons are starting to change for me. I am 2 days away from leaving America after an extended stay, and flying back to my home in Albania. So I am leaving home to go... home. Its weird. It requires trust and maturity.
Another season change I find myself facing is one that I never thought I could embrace. Within the next four months I will be celebrating the end of my twenty-something years. In April I will be ringing in my 30th birthday, and I have to say, I couldn't be happier about it.
When I was a teenager, I used to dread ever being this old. However, with each day that closes and each new one that begins, I find myself utterly excited about the future. About being 30. That takes trust. I could be asking God a lot of questions. I could be questioning career choices, asking why He hasn't given me a husband yet and I could be spending my savings on a BMW to make myself feel better.
Its just that I don't need to do that.
You see, the benefit of maturing... of learning to trust... REALLY trust... is peace. Contentment. Not the kind that stagnates, but the kind that makes life wonderful. I'm not sure if it takes everyone as long as it has taken me to find happiness and contentment in life, but I have to say, find it as soon as you can. Through trust.
My seasons are changing, and there are more possible changes in the next 6 months or so. Big changes. But thats ok. I've learned to roll with it, because God has got this. He holds my life right in His hand, and as I fail and fumble and fall along the way (sometimes every single step), He teaches me. He shows me. And I trust.
Just remember, in your search for contentment, search for trust. Search for the only source of real trust. There is only One Who can model this perfectly for us. He sent us to earth and gives us free will. He also trusts that we will do what He says. He guides us faultlessly. He does not trust that we will be perfect. He just doesn't lose His trust in us when we fail.
What a perfect model of unconditional love.
With all your heart...
...trust.
Thanks for reading,
Julie
It seems like it is full of seasons. When you're little, life is like a dream. You eat, play, exist comfortably, go to school, come home and no one really bursts your little fairy-tale-world-bubble.
Then you become a teenager, and a struggle begins that can never end. Its all about independence and trust. You are fighting for both at every turn, but little do you realize...
...adulthood.
It means independence to the fullest. No one is ever going to buy your new pair of jeans again. No one is going to pay your bills. No one is going to fight your battles and no one is going to dream your dreams either.
Then there's trust.
Its something that I am personally rediscovering at many different moments over and over and over again. I lay it down, I let it go. I forget to trust, just for a moment. Then I realize, I need to trust. Trust that God will show me how to make ends meet. Trust that my friends will keep the secret I shared with them. Trust people not to break my heart.
Trust.
Seasons and trust seem so intertwined. To step into anything new in life, there has to be an element of trust. Starting a new job requires that we trust ourselves to do what is required of us. Getting involved in a new relationship requires us to trust someone else with our heart that we have guarded ever so carefully. Moving to a new place requires trust in God, that He will lead and direct us.
I have to say that on this road I have traveled, I have learned a lot about trust. To trust is to relax and let be. To trust, in a lot of ways, is to let go. Let go of old ideas. Let go of insecurities in abundance. Let go of thoughts that ask "what if?".
To some extent, I believe that trust and maturity go hand in hand. Seasons are starting to change for me. I am 2 days away from leaving America after an extended stay, and flying back to my home in Albania. So I am leaving home to go... home. Its weird. It requires trust and maturity.
Another season change I find myself facing is one that I never thought I could embrace. Within the next four months I will be celebrating the end of my twenty-something years. In April I will be ringing in my 30th birthday, and I have to say, I couldn't be happier about it.
When I was a teenager, I used to dread ever being this old. However, with each day that closes and each new one that begins, I find myself utterly excited about the future. About being 30. That takes trust. I could be asking God a lot of questions. I could be questioning career choices, asking why He hasn't given me a husband yet and I could be spending my savings on a BMW to make myself feel better.
Its just that I don't need to do that.
You see, the benefit of maturing... of learning to trust... REALLY trust... is peace. Contentment. Not the kind that stagnates, but the kind that makes life wonderful. I'm not sure if it takes everyone as long as it has taken me to find happiness and contentment in life, but I have to say, find it as soon as you can. Through trust.
My seasons are changing, and there are more possible changes in the next 6 months or so. Big changes. But thats ok. I've learned to roll with it, because God has got this. He holds my life right in His hand, and as I fail and fumble and fall along the way (sometimes every single step), He teaches me. He shows me. And I trust.
Just remember, in your search for contentment, search for trust. Search for the only source of real trust. There is only One Who can model this perfectly for us. He sent us to earth and gives us free will. He also trusts that we will do what He says. He guides us faultlessly. He does not trust that we will be perfect. He just doesn't lose His trust in us when we fail.
What a perfect model of unconditional love.
With all your heart...
...trust.
Thanks for reading,
Julie
Saturday, November 1, 2014
I Chose To Live On Mars
This morning I woke up, slowly, and crawled out from under the covers of a wonderfully warm bed in a beautiful and temperature controlled house. I made my way down the hall and into the kitchen to make some coffee (and lets face it to eat some Halloween candy). As I stood in front of the sink cleaning the coffee filter for the single brew coffee machine (oh how I covet my neighbor when it comes to this machine) I felt a, not cold, but icy breeze blowing in through the window in front of me. It stunned me. Stopped me in my tracks.
I realized, had I been in my own home in Albania, and the temperature was near freezing as it was here, that I would have had to sleep with two pairs of socks on. I would have a hot water bottle in my bed to try to warm up the sheets before and during sleep. I would not even want to get out of bed to use the restroom, because in the time it takes to do that, your bed gets cold again. I might have even slept in my hoodie, had the house been cold enough. Oh, and don't even mention showers, in a cold house, in a room made of concrete and tile. Sure, I turn on the electric heater for this task, but it does very little to actually cut through the cold.
While thinking on these things, I remembered something that happened last night as well. As I came home from Trick or Treating in the neighborhood and at church with my ADORABLE nephews and niece, I was told that there were hamburgers in the kitchen. Having not eaten dinner, I quickly went to task building myself a burger. The first thing I went for was, of course, the hamburger buns. Upon touching them I was SHOCKED at how soft they were. You see, Europeans for the most part make GREAT bread, but soft is never really a word you would use to describe it. I enjoyed every bite of that burger, soft bun, cheddar cheese, real ketchup and all.
As I pondered on these things this morning, the thought dawned on me that most people might think I am off my rocker. I mean, why live in a place that is so hard to live in? Truth be told, I wouldn't have it any other way. It IS hard to live in Albania, not just for these reasons, but for a multitude of others. Being a female in a male dominated society, for example. This is changing, but it takes time to turn the Titanic. Also, just simple tasks like paying the bills can be very stressful due to crowds with no real lines. Still, Albania is my home, and I miss it now more than ever before. I've been told that is a good sign. For me, its just who I am. It never ceases to amaze me how God will create a person to do a specific task on the Earth and as they do that task, it fulfills the very person He created them to be. Its an intricate pattern our Creator weaves.
So, what IS my point in all this? As I stared out that window feeling the icy breeze this morning, I realized, again, how thankful I am for each and every person who makes it possible for me to do what I do. From the bottom of my heart I could not be more grateful for you, and the faith you put in God, and the faith you put in me to be enablers (a positive term in this sense) who trust me to do what God is asking ALL of us to do in the earth today, just in a totally different place. I wasn't called to be a lawyer who reached the supreme court justices with my version of the Gospel. I was not asked by God, yet, to be a politician who changed a community for Him. I was called to live in a tiny nation, across the ocean, that may seem insignificant, but is not insignificant to me or, more importantly, to God.
Thank you for enabling me to do what I do every day. I promise you, the best is yet to come and I am very excited about the plans God and I have for Albania in 2015.
Thank you, partners. Thank you.
I realized, had I been in my own home in Albania, and the temperature was near freezing as it was here, that I would have had to sleep with two pairs of socks on. I would have a hot water bottle in my bed to try to warm up the sheets before and during sleep. I would not even want to get out of bed to use the restroom, because in the time it takes to do that, your bed gets cold again. I might have even slept in my hoodie, had the house been cold enough. Oh, and don't even mention showers, in a cold house, in a room made of concrete and tile. Sure, I turn on the electric heater for this task, but it does very little to actually cut through the cold.
While thinking on these things, I remembered something that happened last night as well. As I came home from Trick or Treating in the neighborhood and at church with my ADORABLE nephews and niece, I was told that there were hamburgers in the kitchen. Having not eaten dinner, I quickly went to task building myself a burger. The first thing I went for was, of course, the hamburger buns. Upon touching them I was SHOCKED at how soft they were. You see, Europeans for the most part make GREAT bread, but soft is never really a word you would use to describe it. I enjoyed every bite of that burger, soft bun, cheddar cheese, real ketchup and all.
As I pondered on these things this morning, the thought dawned on me that most people might think I am off my rocker. I mean, why live in a place that is so hard to live in? Truth be told, I wouldn't have it any other way. It IS hard to live in Albania, not just for these reasons, but for a multitude of others. Being a female in a male dominated society, for example. This is changing, but it takes time to turn the Titanic. Also, just simple tasks like paying the bills can be very stressful due to crowds with no real lines. Still, Albania is my home, and I miss it now more than ever before. I've been told that is a good sign. For me, its just who I am. It never ceases to amaze me how God will create a person to do a specific task on the Earth and as they do that task, it fulfills the very person He created them to be. Its an intricate pattern our Creator weaves.
So, what IS my point in all this? As I stared out that window feeling the icy breeze this morning, I realized, again, how thankful I am for each and every person who makes it possible for me to do what I do. From the bottom of my heart I could not be more grateful for you, and the faith you put in God, and the faith you put in me to be enablers (a positive term in this sense) who trust me to do what God is asking ALL of us to do in the earth today, just in a totally different place. I wasn't called to be a lawyer who reached the supreme court justices with my version of the Gospel. I was not asked by God, yet, to be a politician who changed a community for Him. I was called to live in a tiny nation, across the ocean, that may seem insignificant, but is not insignificant to me or, more importantly, to God.
Thank you for enabling me to do what I do every day. I promise you, the best is yet to come and I am very excited about the plans God and I have for Albania in 2015.
Thank you, partners. Thank you.
Monday, September 15, 2014
15 Years Later
It is with a heavy heart that I once again write about this topic. I wrote earlier this year that my goal would be to change the way I view this day and what it represents in my life by doing a fund-raising walk between two major cities in Albania.
Unfortunately, due to a stress fracture in my left foot, I was not able to complete this task, but I am not gonna let that get me down.
I write this with a heavy heart, yes. Why? Well, it is a heavy subject to talk about isn't it? However, as I sit back and look at life today as compared to even one week ago, I am in absolute awe of what God is doing today.
Thank you to all of those who support me, prayerfully, emotionally and financially. You all have been amazing. I cannot wait to share with you all some of the awesomeness that has gone on, and why I am so excited about what God is up to in Elbasan these days.
However, for now, I want to thank you all for supporting me, even in my seeming failures, like not being able to do this walk. For me, deciding not to walk was gut-wrenching in the beginning, but I can now see how God has used it for good anyway.
For all those who were affected by what happened today, 15 years ago, shattering a community and making faith feel slightly less safe, my prayers continually go out to you.
I can't believe its been 15 years. For those of us who it touched directly, whether present that night or not, it still feels like yesterday, because it is a part of who we are.
We will never forget.
We will, however, continue to live our lives. God still has a plan for each and every one of us. As we all take today to remember and reflect, lets also take tomorrow to move on in honor of the ones who can no longer can. Lets move on in honor of the God they were worshiping that night. OUR God.
Unfortunately, due to a stress fracture in my left foot, I was not able to complete this task, but I am not gonna let that get me down.
I write this with a heavy heart, yes. Why? Well, it is a heavy subject to talk about isn't it? However, as I sit back and look at life today as compared to even one week ago, I am in absolute awe of what God is doing today.
Thank you to all of those who support me, prayerfully, emotionally and financially. You all have been amazing. I cannot wait to share with you all some of the awesomeness that has gone on, and why I am so excited about what God is up to in Elbasan these days.
However, for now, I want to thank you all for supporting me, even in my seeming failures, like not being able to do this walk. For me, deciding not to walk was gut-wrenching in the beginning, but I can now see how God has used it for good anyway.
For all those who were affected by what happened today, 15 years ago, shattering a community and making faith feel slightly less safe, my prayers continually go out to you.
I can't believe its been 15 years. For those of us who it touched directly, whether present that night or not, it still feels like yesterday, because it is a part of who we are.
We will never forget.
We will, however, continue to live our lives. God still has a plan for each and every one of us. As we all take today to remember and reflect, lets also take tomorrow to move on in honor of the ones who can no longer can. Lets move on in honor of the God they were worshiping that night. OUR God.
Sunday, July 27, 2014
The Most Important Blog I Will Ever Write
September 15, 1999.
14 years 10 months and 12 days ago.
One moment.
One action.
A generation of student's lives would never be the same.
I was supposed to be there that night. I later dealt with that fact in both guilt and humility.
It was supposed to be a Wednesday night for the record books. It was "See You At The Pole" day (a day each year in the US and across the world on which students gather around the flag pole at their schools to pray). We had all prayed at our schools that morning, and we were REALLY looking forward to the gathering of Christian students that was to happen that night. I was one of the people who helped organize that our youth group would go to this event, being that I was the one who brought the idea to our youth pastor and convinced him to take us there, rather than to do our regular Wednesday night youth group meeting.
That evening, when my friends and I and all our extra friends (who wanted to get in on going to a big event) got to the church, we were met by some surprising news. Our youth pastor informed us that we would, in fact, not be attending this big youth conference, but instead would be doing service as usually on the church grounds. The reason we were given for this was that the Pastor of the church was overseas on a missions trip at the time and the youth pastor had not been able to get a hold of him all week to get permission for the excursion. So, the answer was simple, we could not go.
My friends and I were SO bummed out. In fact, we were quite horrible to our youth pastor that whole evening, giving him dirty looks and the silent treatment. However, all that quickly changed as we got word that something had happened. Something unthinkable. Our pastor's wife burst through the door and into the room where we were having our youth meeting, and quickly announced to us that we were to stop the meeting and begin to pray. There was a person inside a church in Fort Worth shooting the members of a service going on there. That's all we knew at that moment, and the only reason we knew at all was because one of our own church members just so happened to live across the street from the church where the shooting was happening. He was an off duty police officer, and before heading into the church to see what was going on (being the very first responder), he called our church to ask us to pray.
So we prayed. I didn't realize in those moments in which we were praying that evening exactly where this shooting was happening. When I got home that night, as I walked through the door, I knew something was not at all right. Gazing towards the TV, my whole family was silent. Entering the house, I dropped my stuff, didn't even shut the door and began to get a true revelation of what had actually happened. The headlines read "Youth Group Tragedy" and "Shooting At Youth Rally" and "Wedgwood Baptist Church Shooting". Only in that very moment did I realize, the shooting was not at some random church with some random Wednesday night faithful members. The shooting was at that rally. That "See You At The Pole" meeting that I was supposed to be at, and the same one I had begged my youth pastor to take us to. The same one we treated him so badly for NOT letting us go to.
I have to say, if any moment has ever changed my life forever...
If anything has ever left a lasting mark...
If anything sticks with me every waking breath, even unto this very day...
...it is this.
To make a very long and complicated story a little shorter and readable, I will skip to the point. There were 7 people killed and 7 injured that night by a mad man who, police say, had no motive at all for doing what he did. Two of the young people who caught his bullets that night were from my high school. Joey Ennis, a freshman just like me, was killed by a bullet to the back of his head. He would have been one of the school's shortest ever basketball stars if he had been left to live out his life.
Justin Laird had driven himself to the meeting that night. It was the first time he had ever driven alone, as it was his 16th birthday and he had only, that morning, gotten his license to drive. He was our star football player, and he never walked again after that night. A bullet to his spinal cord has left him paralyzed.
I am quite sure by now that you are touched by my story, and I am certain that you are asking yourself what the point of it is. Well, there is a big point.
For years (15 this September), this tragedy has left a stain on my soul. A depression, a pain, and an empty gaping hole. As the years passed by, I have found it easier to move on, most of the time. However, every year as September rolls around, I find myself hating that month more and more because I know it holds the anniversary of this tragedy and I will be reminded by well meaning friends, family and news outlets of the horrors that my 14 year old and completely not ready self had to face that day and in the days thereafter. I will be reminded of the friends running to my front door with the news of who we knew that had been shot and who was dead and who was in the hospital. I will remember the moment my friend collapsed in my arms in a fit of tears and I had no idea how to help. I was proud and I didn't want my family to know how badly this affected me. I think that might have been my biggest mistake. I will be reminded of the quotes I gave the newspapers, of the strength of Pastor Al Meredith in a time where he had to stand up and lead his congregation. I will be reminded of the comfort given by President (then Governor) George W Bush. I remember that the way he stood beside us during our tragedy was the very reason I voted for him for president and it is the reason I will give even today for saying I would vote that way again, if given the chance. I will be reminded of the bells rung on the Texas Christian University campus for our victims. I will be reminded...
...and I will continue to hate September.
From the very moment this tragedy happened, I have warned the devil and the powers of darkness that be, that I would, one day, stand up strong and turn the evil committed that day into something good. I promised I would use it to glorify God and I promised the devil that he would NOT have the last say in this matter.
So, after a long story bringing you up to date on why I am doing this, I would like to announce to you that on September 15, 2014 (the 15 yr anniversary of the shooting) I will be doing a fundraising walk from Elbasan, Albania (the city I currently live in) to Tirana (the capitol city of Albania).
This walk is intended to be a fundraising walk to benefit the work I do with the Roma gypsy girls here in Albania, and 50% of the proceeds I will personally donate to Wedgwood Baptist Church.
It is not a long walk, 26 miles in all. It will take me about 8 hours to complete. I am not in shape and I have been training throughout the summer to make sure I will be in the best shape possible to make the walk. I am very exciting about dancing on the devil's head the whole 26 miles and it brings me nearly to tears to imagine being able to, personally, give the 50% to Wedgwood Baptist Church after the walk.
I want to challenge YOU, my old classmates (whom I know this will affect), my family, my friends and even my simple acquaintances to GIVE towards this cause. Help me be a part of turning something terrible into something good. After all... oh wait... I haven't told you that part yet =)
The missions trip abroad my pastor was on (when the youth pastor couldn't get a hold of him to get permission).
Ya, he was in Albania, building the ministry in a nation that I am now a part of. Paving the way for me to come one day and continue the work here. You see, so after all...
Albania saved my life.
So now lets give to the work in Albania and to the wonderful works in abundance that go on day in and day out at Wedgwood Baptist in Fort Worth, TX.
Donations can be made through my organization by clicking HERE and by selecting 'Julie Shelley' from the campaigns menu. Please denote (in the comments section) that the donation is for the fundraising walk.
If you would like to read more about what happened on that dark day in 1999 plese click on of the following links:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larry_Gene_Ashbrook
http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,31191,00.html
http://www.wedgwoodbc.org/joyful-relationships/church-information/wedgwood-shooting/
Thank you for reading.
Julie
14 years 10 months and 12 days ago.
One moment.
One action.
A generation of student's lives would never be the same.
I was supposed to be there that night. I later dealt with that fact in both guilt and humility.
It was supposed to be a Wednesday night for the record books. It was "See You At The Pole" day (a day each year in the US and across the world on which students gather around the flag pole at their schools to pray). We had all prayed at our schools that morning, and we were REALLY looking forward to the gathering of Christian students that was to happen that night. I was one of the people who helped organize that our youth group would go to this event, being that I was the one who brought the idea to our youth pastor and convinced him to take us there, rather than to do our regular Wednesday night youth group meeting.
That evening, when my friends and I and all our extra friends (who wanted to get in on going to a big event) got to the church, we were met by some surprising news. Our youth pastor informed us that we would, in fact, not be attending this big youth conference, but instead would be doing service as usually on the church grounds. The reason we were given for this was that the Pastor of the church was overseas on a missions trip at the time and the youth pastor had not been able to get a hold of him all week to get permission for the excursion. So, the answer was simple, we could not go.
My friends and I were SO bummed out. In fact, we were quite horrible to our youth pastor that whole evening, giving him dirty looks and the silent treatment. However, all that quickly changed as we got word that something had happened. Something unthinkable. Our pastor's wife burst through the door and into the room where we were having our youth meeting, and quickly announced to us that we were to stop the meeting and begin to pray. There was a person inside a church in Fort Worth shooting the members of a service going on there. That's all we knew at that moment, and the only reason we knew at all was because one of our own church members just so happened to live across the street from the church where the shooting was happening. He was an off duty police officer, and before heading into the church to see what was going on (being the very first responder), he called our church to ask us to pray.
So we prayed. I didn't realize in those moments in which we were praying that evening exactly where this shooting was happening. When I got home that night, as I walked through the door, I knew something was not at all right. Gazing towards the TV, my whole family was silent. Entering the house, I dropped my stuff, didn't even shut the door and began to get a true revelation of what had actually happened. The headlines read "Youth Group Tragedy" and "Shooting At Youth Rally" and "Wedgwood Baptist Church Shooting". Only in that very moment did I realize, the shooting was not at some random church with some random Wednesday night faithful members. The shooting was at that rally. That "See You At The Pole" meeting that I was supposed to be at, and the same one I had begged my youth pastor to take us to. The same one we treated him so badly for NOT letting us go to.
I have to say, if any moment has ever changed my life forever...
If anything has ever left a lasting mark...
If anything sticks with me every waking breath, even unto this very day...
...it is this.
To make a very long and complicated story a little shorter and readable, I will skip to the point. There were 7 people killed and 7 injured that night by a mad man who, police say, had no motive at all for doing what he did. Two of the young people who caught his bullets that night were from my high school. Joey Ennis, a freshman just like me, was killed by a bullet to the back of his head. He would have been one of the school's shortest ever basketball stars if he had been left to live out his life.
Justin Laird had driven himself to the meeting that night. It was the first time he had ever driven alone, as it was his 16th birthday and he had only, that morning, gotten his license to drive. He was our star football player, and he never walked again after that night. A bullet to his spinal cord has left him paralyzed.
I am quite sure by now that you are touched by my story, and I am certain that you are asking yourself what the point of it is. Well, there is a big point.
For years (15 this September), this tragedy has left a stain on my soul. A depression, a pain, and an empty gaping hole. As the years passed by, I have found it easier to move on, most of the time. However, every year as September rolls around, I find myself hating that month more and more because I know it holds the anniversary of this tragedy and I will be reminded by well meaning friends, family and news outlets of the horrors that my 14 year old and completely not ready self had to face that day and in the days thereafter. I will be reminded of the friends running to my front door with the news of who we knew that had been shot and who was dead and who was in the hospital. I will remember the moment my friend collapsed in my arms in a fit of tears and I had no idea how to help. I was proud and I didn't want my family to know how badly this affected me. I think that might have been my biggest mistake. I will be reminded of the quotes I gave the newspapers, of the strength of Pastor Al Meredith in a time where he had to stand up and lead his congregation. I will be reminded of the comfort given by President (then Governor) George W Bush. I remember that the way he stood beside us during our tragedy was the very reason I voted for him for president and it is the reason I will give even today for saying I would vote that way again, if given the chance. I will be reminded of the bells rung on the Texas Christian University campus for our victims. I will be reminded...
...and I will continue to hate September.
From the very moment this tragedy happened, I have warned the devil and the powers of darkness that be, that I would, one day, stand up strong and turn the evil committed that day into something good. I promised I would use it to glorify God and I promised the devil that he would NOT have the last say in this matter.
So, after a long story bringing you up to date on why I am doing this, I would like to announce to you that on September 15, 2014 (the 15 yr anniversary of the shooting) I will be doing a fundraising walk from Elbasan, Albania (the city I currently live in) to Tirana (the capitol city of Albania).
This walk is intended to be a fundraising walk to benefit the work I do with the Roma gypsy girls here in Albania, and 50% of the proceeds I will personally donate to Wedgwood Baptist Church.
It is not a long walk, 26 miles in all. It will take me about 8 hours to complete. I am not in shape and I have been training throughout the summer to make sure I will be in the best shape possible to make the walk. I am very exciting about dancing on the devil's head the whole 26 miles and it brings me nearly to tears to imagine being able to, personally, give the 50% to Wedgwood Baptist Church after the walk.
I want to challenge YOU, my old classmates (whom I know this will affect), my family, my friends and even my simple acquaintances to GIVE towards this cause. Help me be a part of turning something terrible into something good. After all... oh wait... I haven't told you that part yet =)
The missions trip abroad my pastor was on (when the youth pastor couldn't get a hold of him to get permission).
Ya, he was in Albania, building the ministry in a nation that I am now a part of. Paving the way for me to come one day and continue the work here. You see, so after all...
Albania saved my life.
So now lets give to the work in Albania and to the wonderful works in abundance that go on day in and day out at Wedgwood Baptist in Fort Worth, TX.
Donations can be made through my organization by clicking HERE and by selecting 'Julie Shelley' from the campaigns menu. Please denote (in the comments section) that the donation is for the fundraising walk.
If you would like to read more about what happened on that dark day in 1999 plese click on of the following links:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larry_Gene_Ashbrook
http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,31191,00.html
http://www.wedgwoodbc.org/joyful-relationships/church-information/wedgwood-shooting/
Thank you for reading.
Julie
Sunday, April 27, 2014
Life On The Farm
So far my day has gone something like this:
630a: Alarm goes off. I snooze
7a: Alarm goes off. I really have to get up this time. Bummer.
Wonder into the bathroom, pet the cat on the way in cause she sleeps on top of the washing machine these days for some unknown reason.
Get slightly uncomfortable kitty snuggles while I am trying to pee.
Carry laptop to the kitchen table. Sit down check emails, bank accounts, news etc.
Begin to prepare breakfast for me and Jack (the Doberman). We are both having eggs. Only thing is his are supplemented with a cup of dog food, mine are supplemented with a cup of coffee, milk, no sugar.
Mix Jacks eggs, get them cooking. Start mixing my own eggs. Once mixed, put electric kettle on to boil water for instant coffee. My filtered coffee machine is currently in need of repair and I can't justify making 3-4 cups minimum when I know I will only drink 1.
All that done, still waiting on Jack's eggs to finish. Walk into bathroom, poor kitty a little milk. Yes I spoil her sometimes.
Chase Dallas (small inside dog) out of bathroom cause she is terrifying kitty and trying to steal her milk.
Give Dallas some milk too.
Jack's eggs are done. Put them in his bowl to cool. Add 1 cup dog food and mix.
Put my eggs on to cook.
Pour cup of coffee with milk.
PUT MILK BACK IN FRIDGE. This is how I say this to myself because last week I forgot to do so and ruined a perfectly good bottle of milk. Sad.
Dish up my eggs.
Give Jack his meal.
Sit down to eat mine... finally.
Dallas wants out.
I can't let Dallas out until Jack is done eating because they will fight. So I play referee at the door, while Jack scarfs up food and Dallas sits there shaking and miserable looking cause she needs to go do her business. Thankfully she waits.
I take Jack's empty bowl. He is cute cause he has egg all over his nose.
Make Jack move cause Dallas gets edgy if he is in the way when she tries to go outside. If I don't make room for her she will growl and snap at him. He is big and so I try to keep her happy cause I don't know how badly he would hurt her if he responded in anger one day.
Go to get iPhone to take picture of Jack's eggy nose. Get to door, his nose is no longer eggy. Sad again.
Sit down...again... to eat my breakfast.
Dallas starts barking up a storm outside. It is still early and I do not want to disturb the neighbors. I do not need the wrath of seven old Albanian women to come down on me at any point in my life.
So I stand up and go command Dallas back inside.
She comes, thankfully. I close the door.
Again, I sit down to eat my breakfast.
Then I write this blog.
So now, I think I will go so I can finally finish this so called breakfast.
Hope you all have a great day.
I know we will on this little farm.
Thanks for reading.
Julie
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Adventure, Party of One...
Oh...
How am I?
Good.
Or, at least, that's what I would like to say. Even if its a lie. I wish I could say it without tears welling up in my eyes.
Moving across the world, forsaking your family, friends, church, work, ability to drive... everything one might hold dear... well, it breaks you in a way. However, I have been really blessed to say that I have not been alone for the past three years of this beautiful journey God has me on.
I have been spoiled, really. Not many missionaries step out into the luxury of having a great friend already waiting for you on the missions field. I met Kerri in 2007 on a short term mission trip to Albania. She was there in the same city at the same time on a short term missions trip with the Bible College she was a part of in South Africa. Through no coincidence, we happened to have mutual friends, who suggested out two short term teams have a get together one night.
If you have ever been to Elbasan, you have been to L'oasi ice cream shop. That is where our colliding of worlds first took place. My team, consisting really only of me and my pastor at the time, went out for ice cream to get to know the team from South Africa. We were only two people, but their team must have consisted of about 20 people.
It just so happened that Kerri and one of her team leaders sat at the same table as my pastor and I. Because my pastor and her team leader sparked a conversation right off the bat about mutual friends of theirs (is their coincidence in the Kingdom of God? I think not.), Kerri and I were left with the slightly awkward task of trying to spark our own conversation. It proved not to be a difficult task at all. In fact, we both had a burning passion to live in Albania long term and help its people grow to know God.
This conversation led to emailing which led to us finding each other on Skype. Life went on and Kerri eventually got to lead the dream, living full time in Elbasan. I was super jealous in some ways but also super happy for her. We kept in contact and were great encouragement to one another in life's struggles.
Then the day came when I decided I needed to take a longer term trip to Albania. My plan was to stay for 3 months, but I knew in the back of my mind that if those three months went well, that I would be staying longer than that. I think Kerri knew this too, even though I never told anyone. So when she suggested that we become roommates, I was stunned and felt like God was opening the door for me to finally get to my dreams and calling.
So we became roommates, and from that moment began a life full of great friendship, lots of struggles and a million giggles. I do not know if I would be in Albania today if it was not for this girl. Not only because she gave me the financial opportunity by sharing expenses, but for a million other reasons as well.
Yesterday, at 430am, I caught a taxi to the airport to see Kerri for one last time. For whatever reason, her time in Albania has come to an end. She left on an airplane about 24 hours ago now.
As I sit and write this, I am saddened to the depths of my heart to have to have said goodbye to someone so dear to me. I have no idea what God is going to do through all of this, but I know I will continue my work in Albania with the gypsy girls and with a new and exciting project that God is speaking to me about for this fall. More to come on that...
For now, I guess its adventure, party of one...
My God is enough. In my loneliness. In my financial hardships. He is enough.
Pray that He will bring more strong friendships along my path, but also pray that He strengthens me in the times that are not as full of people. Pray that He will open new doors of financial opportunity, but also pray that I can withstand the hardships.
Thanks for reading,
Julie
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