Oh how life has changed. Many of the things people prepare you for when they hear you are expecting are the difficulties. Sleepless nights, diapers, the terrible twos and the teenage years. Until now I can say I have experienced a couple of those things and they are so very true. However, the thing that leaves me scratching my head is how no one really bothers to try to explain how wonderful, scary, impossible and big it all feels.
When people would tell me about their birth experiences, they would only focus on the pain and possibly the length of time spent laboring. They never told me how amazing it is to watch a tiny person come from your own body.
When people would talk about their partners being in the room, more often the discussion lead towards fainting and blood than what I felt, amazing support and a joy unspeakable when I saw my husband's reaction as he first laid eyes on our boy. The way he carefully and nervously cut the cord to give him life outside the womb, made me feel a pride unexplainable.
When peope talk about seeing and holding their baby for the first time, they often talk about goo and grossness. All I remember is this tiny, wailing baby being laid on my chest. As he screamed his lungs out, I wrapped my hands around him and said three simple words, "Hey, hey, hey.". The way my son immediately soothed and stopped crying there on my chest upon hearing my voice made me feel like a mother for real.
For me the past 10 days have been the most miraculous, emotional, impossible, happiest 864,000 seconds of my life. When I hold that tiny boy I still feel the most amazing joy surge through my body and fill my heart full.
Thank you to everyone who has helped us through this process of coming to America, having a roof over our heads, getting work, baby gifts, visiting the hospital when he was born and everything in between.
There are moments in the midst of the happiness that cause sheer panic as well. Like when he is crying and you don't know why, but all that is washed away when he finally calms and I see him look at me with those big sweet eyes.
If you think you are a person of faith, have a child. Its the most painful impossible love, but I recommend everyone experience it and it will definitely push you to trust more in God.
Thanks for reading.
For Gio
Sunday, January 7, 2018
Saturday, April 29, 2017
So About North Korea
Today North K*rea "celebrates" 85 years of communism. For me, a person who has lived in an ex-communist state for six years, an ex-communist state that was under communist rule for nearly 50 years, I have a few thoughts on the matter, IF you'd like to hear them.
Over the years I have been very touched by stories that come from places such as C*ba, N K*rea, Ch*na Ven*zuela etc, telling stories of unimaginable crimes on humanity by the government against their own people. I do not have to share links here for you to understand what I am talking about. You have all seen them yourselves, possible as ketchup from your Big Mac dripped out of the burger and onto your lap... but maybe that is a separate issue for another blog.
It has been a long, long time since I have written a blog, because I have felt uninspired, with little stirring the writer in the depths of me. Today, however, that changed as I read the news of the leader of this communist country successfully testing a long range missile in defiance to the whole world. In the past, I have often found myself thinking, as passing the ruins of old war bunkers in the country I currently live in, how different would the world and this particular country be if their paranoid, war-hungry leader had existed in a time with internet and modern-day technology? Would he have conquered? Would the countries in this area be different today? Would this tiny little paradise have been blown off the map by a bigger power? I wonder...
Is the road that Am*rica's leaders are taking a wise one? I don't know. I feel like the general public is deprived of the details it would take to actually form an educated opinion. However, I can tell you that what is happening in that little country today is an unthinkable crime against humanity, and the worst part of it all is that with 85 years of brain-washed, fear-filled, propaganda propelled communism, the people don't even realize that they are victims, and the one or two intelligent ones who did at one time, might have been too scared to speak or were "taken care of" when they did. I know this sounds like a conspiracy theory, but I beg you to listen to what I have to say, because I currently live inside the remains of one such nation.
On the outside, this tiny country looks like a paradise waiting to explode with investment and tourism, which, in reality, it is from one point of view. On the other hand, it is several generations of confused people who don't know how to exist without a dictator ordering them. In workplaces they seek the strongest, biggest and meanest leader, not the most intelligent and efficient, thinking that it takes brute and abuse to be a leader. They struggle to find work because the government is still pulling itself together and taxes nearly strangle any small business effort that one or two brave souls might try to venture. The majority of the people struggle to ASK for work from a place. This is because for 50 years they were TOLD where they would work, live etc.
The long-term effects of 50 years of this kind of leadership are more than I could dare to explain, having not grown up in it, and more than locals can explain having not known anything different. There are people who seem to truck through life just fine, but when it comes down to it, there is still a very strong pull on their emotions, decisions and thinking towards communism. This is 27 years later. When I worked with Roma children, they struggled to color in a simple coloring page because they didn't know what color each thing was "supposed" to be. You see in communist countries that are ruled to the extreme, there is no expressive art, feeling or emotion. There is no "grey". There is right and there is wrong, in every area of life, from how many children you should have to where you should work to what kind of clothes you should wear, what kind of haircut you should get and, in the end, even what colors you should use to color in a simple coloring page.
I do not have the answers for the people of North Korea nor do I know what in the world anyone else should do. I do know that it is NOT a good situation by any means. I do know that these people are suffering the most damaging kind of torture that people can suffer. I do hope that God will help us do something to help these people and give us wisdom on how to continue to help them after communism falls, if that happens in our lifetime.
If this article touches you in any way, I just ask you to say a prayer for these people and whatever they may be facing today. Their future is only in the hands of God, and I pray He show Himself somehow in the middle of all of this.
Over the years I have been very touched by stories that come from places such as C*ba, N K*rea, Ch*na Ven*zuela etc, telling stories of unimaginable crimes on humanity by the government against their own people. I do not have to share links here for you to understand what I am talking about. You have all seen them yourselves, possible as ketchup from your Big Mac dripped out of the burger and onto your lap... but maybe that is a separate issue for another blog.
It has been a long, long time since I have written a blog, because I have felt uninspired, with little stirring the writer in the depths of me. Today, however, that changed as I read the news of the leader of this communist country successfully testing a long range missile in defiance to the whole world. In the past, I have often found myself thinking, as passing the ruins of old war bunkers in the country I currently live in, how different would the world and this particular country be if their paranoid, war-hungry leader had existed in a time with internet and modern-day technology? Would he have conquered? Would the countries in this area be different today? Would this tiny little paradise have been blown off the map by a bigger power? I wonder...
Is the road that Am*rica's leaders are taking a wise one? I don't know. I feel like the general public is deprived of the details it would take to actually form an educated opinion. However, I can tell you that what is happening in that little country today is an unthinkable crime against humanity, and the worst part of it all is that with 85 years of brain-washed, fear-filled, propaganda propelled communism, the people don't even realize that they are victims, and the one or two intelligent ones who did at one time, might have been too scared to speak or were "taken care of" when they did. I know this sounds like a conspiracy theory, but I beg you to listen to what I have to say, because I currently live inside the remains of one such nation.
On the outside, this tiny country looks like a paradise waiting to explode with investment and tourism, which, in reality, it is from one point of view. On the other hand, it is several generations of confused people who don't know how to exist without a dictator ordering them. In workplaces they seek the strongest, biggest and meanest leader, not the most intelligent and efficient, thinking that it takes brute and abuse to be a leader. They struggle to find work because the government is still pulling itself together and taxes nearly strangle any small business effort that one or two brave souls might try to venture. The majority of the people struggle to ASK for work from a place. This is because for 50 years they were TOLD where they would work, live etc.
The long-term effects of 50 years of this kind of leadership are more than I could dare to explain, having not grown up in it, and more than locals can explain having not known anything different. There are people who seem to truck through life just fine, but when it comes down to it, there is still a very strong pull on their emotions, decisions and thinking towards communism. This is 27 years later. When I worked with Roma children, they struggled to color in a simple coloring page because they didn't know what color each thing was "supposed" to be. You see in communist countries that are ruled to the extreme, there is no expressive art, feeling or emotion. There is no "grey". There is right and there is wrong, in every area of life, from how many children you should have to where you should work to what kind of clothes you should wear, what kind of haircut you should get and, in the end, even what colors you should use to color in a simple coloring page.
I do not have the answers for the people of North Korea nor do I know what in the world anyone else should do. I do know that it is NOT a good situation by any means. I do know that these people are suffering the most damaging kind of torture that people can suffer. I do hope that God will help us do something to help these people and give us wisdom on how to continue to help them after communism falls, if that happens in our lifetime.
If this article touches you in any way, I just ask you to say a prayer for these people and whatever they may be facing today. Their future is only in the hands of God, and I pray He show Himself somehow in the middle of all of this.
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Creativity and Individuality (February 24, 2015)
Today I am sitting in my kitchen, baking cookies and keeping an eye on laundry as the sun shines brightly through my window. I love sunny days. They make me... happy. Its a simple part of who I am, and not everyone will be just like me. Some may like snow and cold, others may like rain and grey skies. There is another thing that may make me slightly different from other. The cookies I am baking. Don't get me wrong, I am SO excited about the cookies. My good friend Irna gave me some brown sugar while I was in America to bring home to Albania with me, as it is very hard to find here. However, no matter how excited I am about the brown sugar, it is not what makes my cookies unique. My cookies are special because they are chocolate-chipless cookies. No, you did not read that wrong. Every time I eat a delicious chocolate chip cookie, I DREAM of how amazing it would be without the chocolate chips. I am sure some of you are wondering if this is legal, and knowing it is not sane, but just face the fact. I am a unique individual made by a masterful Creator God and I love my chocolate chip cookies without the chocolate chips. No, not sugar cookies. They are more like BROWN sugar cookies. Yum yum.
When I think about the last 4 years I have spent in Albania, I realize more and more the importance of recognizing God as a divine creator. It is so easy to get caught up in the things that annoy me or cultural differences that are hard to overcome. When I change my mindset, however, to a one that is curious to discover all the tiny intricacies of this humanity our God has created, I find life is a lot more interesting and fulfilling and a lot less bland, boring and difficult.
When I first started teaching my class of Roma girls, they did not even know how to color in a picture. They wanted me to tell them what color everything should be. They didn't feel the freedom to create something of their own imagination. Today, however, I see how far God has brought us. I am so thankful for the various art projects we are able to throw into our schooling, such as tye-dying T-shirts with my roommate Rose (who was very kind to provide the supplies needed AND come show us how to do it). Every shirt came out completely individual, and 4 years later, that is ok in Roma school.
I love asking God to show me what is special about individual people. There is always something that makes them unique, special and interesting. The other night I was at a dinner with the Christians couples of Elbasan, and I remembered just WHY it is that I love this culture. They love to laugh. It is all about relationships. When you are in a room with someone, you are their priority, and they are yours. There is something deeper here than at home in that way. I appreciate that God is even showing me the lovable differences in cultures. Neither is bad, they are just different. Why?
Our God is the ultimate Creator. Why would he want us all to be the same? Our creativity, our individuality, our passions and our annoyances all bring Him glory because He is a master designer. No two from His production line will ever be the same. So, as you go about your day, just as I have done here in Albania, challenge yourself to ask God to show you the awesome and special things about the people in your life, even the more difficult ones.
Thanks for reading,
Julie
When I think about the last 4 years I have spent in Albania, I realize more and more the importance of recognizing God as a divine creator. It is so easy to get caught up in the things that annoy me or cultural differences that are hard to overcome. When I change my mindset, however, to a one that is curious to discover all the tiny intricacies of this humanity our God has created, I find life is a lot more interesting and fulfilling and a lot less bland, boring and difficult.
When I first started teaching my class of Roma girls, they did not even know how to color in a picture. They wanted me to tell them what color everything should be. They didn't feel the freedom to create something of their own imagination. Today, however, I see how far God has brought us. I am so thankful for the various art projects we are able to throw into our schooling, such as tye-dying T-shirts with my roommate Rose (who was very kind to provide the supplies needed AND come show us how to do it). Every shirt came out completely individual, and 4 years later, that is ok in Roma school.
I love asking God to show me what is special about individual people. There is always something that makes them unique, special and interesting. The other night I was at a dinner with the Christians couples of Elbasan, and I remembered just WHY it is that I love this culture. They love to laugh. It is all about relationships. When you are in a room with someone, you are their priority, and they are yours. There is something deeper here than at home in that way. I appreciate that God is even showing me the lovable differences in cultures. Neither is bad, they are just different. Why?
Our God is the ultimate Creator. Why would he want us all to be the same? Our creativity, our individuality, our passions and our annoyances all bring Him glory because He is a master designer. No two from His production line will ever be the same. So, as you go about your day, just as I have done here in Albania, challenge yourself to ask God to show you the awesome and special things about the people in your life, even the more difficult ones.
(Tye Dying)
Thanks for reading,
Julie
Friday, January 23, 2015
Update 1-23-2015
It has been forever and a minute since I have blogged or even sent out an update. Three months in America whizzed by and I am so happy that I got to touch base (personally) with so many of you all, my friends, family and supporters. I thank you all so much for your hospitality while I was in the DFW area and I look forward to maintaining these very important friendships for life. To those who I did not get the chance to meet with personally, because of conflicts of schedule, I hope that we will make it work the next time I am in town.
So, how has life been since I have been back in Albania? Well it started off with a bang. Literally. I arrived in country on the 30th of December. The next day was New Year's Eve, and if you have any sort of fear of loud noises or fireworks, Albania may not be the place for you on this particular holiday. I was very happy to be back to celebrate the most important holiday of the year with my friends in Albania. At midnight the skies light up with fireworks from seemingly every single house in the city. It is a beautiful sight to behold. A small child once said "Its like a beautiful, beautiful war.". I concur. This year the fireworks were a little short-lived because it was VERY cold outside. For the last week of December and the first week of January, Albania experienced a very harsh cold snap, sending lows plummeting to near 0 degrees Fahrenheit. I am thankful for the fleece blanket one of the sweet ladies in my church bought me while I was home. I used it a lot during that cold snap. I also finally gave in and got an electric blanket, which has made all the difference. Now my bed is cozy at night. Just hoping it doesn't affect the electric bill too much!
The work here in Elbasan is going strong and I am happy to see the direction things are going. One of the main purposes of serving as a missionary is to empower the people to reach their own for Christ and to help one another. This spring, I am very proud to say, after only a few months, I will be handing off the Elbasan youth church to a team of young Christian Albanians. Their leadership and commitment thus far has been top notch and I am amazed at how much God has built a strong leadership team amongst us already. I will be honored to let them carry on that work and I know that they can be 10 times (if not more) more effective than I can be, because they will be reaching their own culture, and their own people. God has really done a beautiful work in this Youth Church.
As for working in the Roma area, the girls are reading books now and are probably going to be married off soon, as is cultural for them. I am very happy to have served these 4 years building them in their knowledge and in their faith in Jesus. I cannot wait to see how this new generation of Christian girls run their families and how their faith will affect their households and in turn that entire neighborhood. I am sad that this will be our last year of school, but I couldn't be prouder of everything we have accomplished. I know that God holds them in His hands and that He will lead them and guide them now as they become adults in their culture.
So, having said all of that, some of you may be wondering if my time in Albania is coming to a close, because it seems like the works here are no longer in need of my help. While that is true, the change will not be as big as me coming back to America to live. I know that God has called me to Albania and I truley cannot wait for my next adventure to begin. I have been offered a great opportunity to help a church in another city in Albania. The city is called Korce and I will be moving there in May. Having been to Korce many times before, I have a great relationship with a church there. The church has grown by leaps and bounds and the Pastor has asked me to come and help create some new outreaches that the church has had on their hearts to do for a very long time. I am in awe of how God has lined everything up to work out for all of us in just the right timing and I cannot wait to see the amazing works He will do in this new city and new adventure. I cannot wait to bring you more news, and believe me, there is more good news coming from Albania very soon. Stay tuned!
I want to thank each and every one of you for your friendship, love, prayers and financial support. Without you, none of this would be possible.
Thanks for reading,
Julie
To give a donation online towards the work Julie does in Albania, click here: DONATE
So, how has life been since I have been back in Albania? Well it started off with a bang. Literally. I arrived in country on the 30th of December. The next day was New Year's Eve, and if you have any sort of fear of loud noises or fireworks, Albania may not be the place for you on this particular holiday. I was very happy to be back to celebrate the most important holiday of the year with my friends in Albania. At midnight the skies light up with fireworks from seemingly every single house in the city. It is a beautiful sight to behold. A small child once said "Its like a beautiful, beautiful war.". I concur. This year the fireworks were a little short-lived because it was VERY cold outside. For the last week of December and the first week of January, Albania experienced a very harsh cold snap, sending lows plummeting to near 0 degrees Fahrenheit. I am thankful for the fleece blanket one of the sweet ladies in my church bought me while I was home. I used it a lot during that cold snap. I also finally gave in and got an electric blanket, which has made all the difference. Now my bed is cozy at night. Just hoping it doesn't affect the electric bill too much!
The work here in Elbasan is going strong and I am happy to see the direction things are going. One of the main purposes of serving as a missionary is to empower the people to reach their own for Christ and to help one another. This spring, I am very proud to say, after only a few months, I will be handing off the Elbasan youth church to a team of young Christian Albanians. Their leadership and commitment thus far has been top notch and I am amazed at how much God has built a strong leadership team amongst us already. I will be honored to let them carry on that work and I know that they can be 10 times (if not more) more effective than I can be, because they will be reaching their own culture, and their own people. God has really done a beautiful work in this Youth Church.
As for working in the Roma area, the girls are reading books now and are probably going to be married off soon, as is cultural for them. I am very happy to have served these 4 years building them in their knowledge and in their faith in Jesus. I cannot wait to see how this new generation of Christian girls run their families and how their faith will affect their households and in turn that entire neighborhood. I am sad that this will be our last year of school, but I couldn't be prouder of everything we have accomplished. I know that God holds them in His hands and that He will lead them and guide them now as they become adults in their culture.
So, having said all of that, some of you may be wondering if my time in Albania is coming to a close, because it seems like the works here are no longer in need of my help. While that is true, the change will not be as big as me coming back to America to live. I know that God has called me to Albania and I truley cannot wait for my next adventure to begin. I have been offered a great opportunity to help a church in another city in Albania. The city is called Korce and I will be moving there in May. Having been to Korce many times before, I have a great relationship with a church there. The church has grown by leaps and bounds and the Pastor has asked me to come and help create some new outreaches that the church has had on their hearts to do for a very long time. I am in awe of how God has lined everything up to work out for all of us in just the right timing and I cannot wait to see the amazing works He will do in this new city and new adventure. I cannot wait to bring you more news, and believe me, there is more good news coming from Albania very soon. Stay tuned!
I want to thank each and every one of you for your friendship, love, prayers and financial support. Without you, none of this would be possible.
Thanks for reading,
Julie
To give a donation online towards the work Julie does in Albania, click here: DONATE
Friday, December 26, 2014
Seasons
Life.
It seems like it is full of seasons. When you're little, life is like a dream. You eat, play, exist comfortably, go to school, come home and no one really bursts your little fairy-tale-world-bubble.
Then you become a teenager, and a struggle begins that can never end. Its all about independence and trust. You are fighting for both at every turn, but little do you realize...
...adulthood.
It means independence to the fullest. No one is ever going to buy your new pair of jeans again. No one is going to pay your bills. No one is going to fight your battles and no one is going to dream your dreams either.
Then there's trust.
Its something that I am personally rediscovering at many different moments over and over and over again. I lay it down, I let it go. I forget to trust, just for a moment. Then I realize, I need to trust. Trust that God will show me how to make ends meet. Trust that my friends will keep the secret I shared with them. Trust people not to break my heart.
Trust.
Seasons and trust seem so intertwined. To step into anything new in life, there has to be an element of trust. Starting a new job requires that we trust ourselves to do what is required of us. Getting involved in a new relationship requires us to trust someone else with our heart that we have guarded ever so carefully. Moving to a new place requires trust in God, that He will lead and direct us.
I have to say that on this road I have traveled, I have learned a lot about trust. To trust is to relax and let be. To trust, in a lot of ways, is to let go. Let go of old ideas. Let go of insecurities in abundance. Let go of thoughts that ask "what if?".
To some extent, I believe that trust and maturity go hand in hand. Seasons are starting to change for me. I am 2 days away from leaving America after an extended stay, and flying back to my home in Albania. So I am leaving home to go... home. Its weird. It requires trust and maturity.
Another season change I find myself facing is one that I never thought I could embrace. Within the next four months I will be celebrating the end of my twenty-something years. In April I will be ringing in my 30th birthday, and I have to say, I couldn't be happier about it.
When I was a teenager, I used to dread ever being this old. However, with each day that closes and each new one that begins, I find myself utterly excited about the future. About being 30. That takes trust. I could be asking God a lot of questions. I could be questioning career choices, asking why He hasn't given me a husband yet and I could be spending my savings on a BMW to make myself feel better.
Its just that I don't need to do that.
You see, the benefit of maturing... of learning to trust... REALLY trust... is peace. Contentment. Not the kind that stagnates, but the kind that makes life wonderful. I'm not sure if it takes everyone as long as it has taken me to find happiness and contentment in life, but I have to say, find it as soon as you can. Through trust.
My seasons are changing, and there are more possible changes in the next 6 months or so. Big changes. But thats ok. I've learned to roll with it, because God has got this. He holds my life right in His hand, and as I fail and fumble and fall along the way (sometimes every single step), He teaches me. He shows me. And I trust.
Just remember, in your search for contentment, search for trust. Search for the only source of real trust. There is only One Who can model this perfectly for us. He sent us to earth and gives us free will. He also trusts that we will do what He says. He guides us faultlessly. He does not trust that we will be perfect. He just doesn't lose His trust in us when we fail.
What a perfect model of unconditional love.
With all your heart...
...trust.
Thanks for reading,
Julie
It seems like it is full of seasons. When you're little, life is like a dream. You eat, play, exist comfortably, go to school, come home and no one really bursts your little fairy-tale-world-bubble.
Then you become a teenager, and a struggle begins that can never end. Its all about independence and trust. You are fighting for both at every turn, but little do you realize...
...adulthood.
It means independence to the fullest. No one is ever going to buy your new pair of jeans again. No one is going to pay your bills. No one is going to fight your battles and no one is going to dream your dreams either.
Then there's trust.
Its something that I am personally rediscovering at many different moments over and over and over again. I lay it down, I let it go. I forget to trust, just for a moment. Then I realize, I need to trust. Trust that God will show me how to make ends meet. Trust that my friends will keep the secret I shared with them. Trust people not to break my heart.
Trust.
Seasons and trust seem so intertwined. To step into anything new in life, there has to be an element of trust. Starting a new job requires that we trust ourselves to do what is required of us. Getting involved in a new relationship requires us to trust someone else with our heart that we have guarded ever so carefully. Moving to a new place requires trust in God, that He will lead and direct us.
I have to say that on this road I have traveled, I have learned a lot about trust. To trust is to relax and let be. To trust, in a lot of ways, is to let go. Let go of old ideas. Let go of insecurities in abundance. Let go of thoughts that ask "what if?".
To some extent, I believe that trust and maturity go hand in hand. Seasons are starting to change for me. I am 2 days away from leaving America after an extended stay, and flying back to my home in Albania. So I am leaving home to go... home. Its weird. It requires trust and maturity.
Another season change I find myself facing is one that I never thought I could embrace. Within the next four months I will be celebrating the end of my twenty-something years. In April I will be ringing in my 30th birthday, and I have to say, I couldn't be happier about it.
When I was a teenager, I used to dread ever being this old. However, with each day that closes and each new one that begins, I find myself utterly excited about the future. About being 30. That takes trust. I could be asking God a lot of questions. I could be questioning career choices, asking why He hasn't given me a husband yet and I could be spending my savings on a BMW to make myself feel better.
Its just that I don't need to do that.
You see, the benefit of maturing... of learning to trust... REALLY trust... is peace. Contentment. Not the kind that stagnates, but the kind that makes life wonderful. I'm not sure if it takes everyone as long as it has taken me to find happiness and contentment in life, but I have to say, find it as soon as you can. Through trust.
My seasons are changing, and there are more possible changes in the next 6 months or so. Big changes. But thats ok. I've learned to roll with it, because God has got this. He holds my life right in His hand, and as I fail and fumble and fall along the way (sometimes every single step), He teaches me. He shows me. And I trust.
Just remember, in your search for contentment, search for trust. Search for the only source of real trust. There is only One Who can model this perfectly for us. He sent us to earth and gives us free will. He also trusts that we will do what He says. He guides us faultlessly. He does not trust that we will be perfect. He just doesn't lose His trust in us when we fail.
What a perfect model of unconditional love.
With all your heart...
...trust.
Thanks for reading,
Julie
Saturday, November 1, 2014
I Chose To Live On Mars
This morning I woke up, slowly, and crawled out from under the covers of a wonderfully warm bed in a beautiful and temperature controlled house. I made my way down the hall and into the kitchen to make some coffee (and lets face it to eat some Halloween candy). As I stood in front of the sink cleaning the coffee filter for the single brew coffee machine (oh how I covet my neighbor when it comes to this machine) I felt a, not cold, but icy breeze blowing in through the window in front of me. It stunned me. Stopped me in my tracks.
I realized, had I been in my own home in Albania, and the temperature was near freezing as it was here, that I would have had to sleep with two pairs of socks on. I would have a hot water bottle in my bed to try to warm up the sheets before and during sleep. I would not even want to get out of bed to use the restroom, because in the time it takes to do that, your bed gets cold again. I might have even slept in my hoodie, had the house been cold enough. Oh, and don't even mention showers, in a cold house, in a room made of concrete and tile. Sure, I turn on the electric heater for this task, but it does very little to actually cut through the cold.
While thinking on these things, I remembered something that happened last night as well. As I came home from Trick or Treating in the neighborhood and at church with my ADORABLE nephews and niece, I was told that there were hamburgers in the kitchen. Having not eaten dinner, I quickly went to task building myself a burger. The first thing I went for was, of course, the hamburger buns. Upon touching them I was SHOCKED at how soft they were. You see, Europeans for the most part make GREAT bread, but soft is never really a word you would use to describe it. I enjoyed every bite of that burger, soft bun, cheddar cheese, real ketchup and all.
As I pondered on these things this morning, the thought dawned on me that most people might think I am off my rocker. I mean, why live in a place that is so hard to live in? Truth be told, I wouldn't have it any other way. It IS hard to live in Albania, not just for these reasons, but for a multitude of others. Being a female in a male dominated society, for example. This is changing, but it takes time to turn the Titanic. Also, just simple tasks like paying the bills can be very stressful due to crowds with no real lines. Still, Albania is my home, and I miss it now more than ever before. I've been told that is a good sign. For me, its just who I am. It never ceases to amaze me how God will create a person to do a specific task on the Earth and as they do that task, it fulfills the very person He created them to be. Its an intricate pattern our Creator weaves.
So, what IS my point in all this? As I stared out that window feeling the icy breeze this morning, I realized, again, how thankful I am for each and every person who makes it possible for me to do what I do. From the bottom of my heart I could not be more grateful for you, and the faith you put in God, and the faith you put in me to be enablers (a positive term in this sense) who trust me to do what God is asking ALL of us to do in the earth today, just in a totally different place. I wasn't called to be a lawyer who reached the supreme court justices with my version of the Gospel. I was not asked by God, yet, to be a politician who changed a community for Him. I was called to live in a tiny nation, across the ocean, that may seem insignificant, but is not insignificant to me or, more importantly, to God.
Thank you for enabling me to do what I do every day. I promise you, the best is yet to come and I am very excited about the plans God and I have for Albania in 2015.
Thank you, partners. Thank you.
I realized, had I been in my own home in Albania, and the temperature was near freezing as it was here, that I would have had to sleep with two pairs of socks on. I would have a hot water bottle in my bed to try to warm up the sheets before and during sleep. I would not even want to get out of bed to use the restroom, because in the time it takes to do that, your bed gets cold again. I might have even slept in my hoodie, had the house been cold enough. Oh, and don't even mention showers, in a cold house, in a room made of concrete and tile. Sure, I turn on the electric heater for this task, but it does very little to actually cut through the cold.
While thinking on these things, I remembered something that happened last night as well. As I came home from Trick or Treating in the neighborhood and at church with my ADORABLE nephews and niece, I was told that there were hamburgers in the kitchen. Having not eaten dinner, I quickly went to task building myself a burger. The first thing I went for was, of course, the hamburger buns. Upon touching them I was SHOCKED at how soft they were. You see, Europeans for the most part make GREAT bread, but soft is never really a word you would use to describe it. I enjoyed every bite of that burger, soft bun, cheddar cheese, real ketchup and all.
As I pondered on these things this morning, the thought dawned on me that most people might think I am off my rocker. I mean, why live in a place that is so hard to live in? Truth be told, I wouldn't have it any other way. It IS hard to live in Albania, not just for these reasons, but for a multitude of others. Being a female in a male dominated society, for example. This is changing, but it takes time to turn the Titanic. Also, just simple tasks like paying the bills can be very stressful due to crowds with no real lines. Still, Albania is my home, and I miss it now more than ever before. I've been told that is a good sign. For me, its just who I am. It never ceases to amaze me how God will create a person to do a specific task on the Earth and as they do that task, it fulfills the very person He created them to be. Its an intricate pattern our Creator weaves.
So, what IS my point in all this? As I stared out that window feeling the icy breeze this morning, I realized, again, how thankful I am for each and every person who makes it possible for me to do what I do. From the bottom of my heart I could not be more grateful for you, and the faith you put in God, and the faith you put in me to be enablers (a positive term in this sense) who trust me to do what God is asking ALL of us to do in the earth today, just in a totally different place. I wasn't called to be a lawyer who reached the supreme court justices with my version of the Gospel. I was not asked by God, yet, to be a politician who changed a community for Him. I was called to live in a tiny nation, across the ocean, that may seem insignificant, but is not insignificant to me or, more importantly, to God.
Thank you for enabling me to do what I do every day. I promise you, the best is yet to come and I am very excited about the plans God and I have for Albania in 2015.
Thank you, partners. Thank you.
Monday, September 15, 2014
15 Years Later
It is with a heavy heart that I once again write about this topic. I wrote earlier this year that my goal would be to change the way I view this day and what it represents in my life by doing a fund-raising walk between two major cities in Albania.
Unfortunately, due to a stress fracture in my left foot, I was not able to complete this task, but I am not gonna let that get me down.
I write this with a heavy heart, yes. Why? Well, it is a heavy subject to talk about isn't it? However, as I sit back and look at life today as compared to even one week ago, I am in absolute awe of what God is doing today.
Thank you to all of those who support me, prayerfully, emotionally and financially. You all have been amazing. I cannot wait to share with you all some of the awesomeness that has gone on, and why I am so excited about what God is up to in Elbasan these days.
However, for now, I want to thank you all for supporting me, even in my seeming failures, like not being able to do this walk. For me, deciding not to walk was gut-wrenching in the beginning, but I can now see how God has used it for good anyway.
For all those who were affected by what happened today, 15 years ago, shattering a community and making faith feel slightly less safe, my prayers continually go out to you.
I can't believe its been 15 years. For those of us who it touched directly, whether present that night or not, it still feels like yesterday, because it is a part of who we are.
We will never forget.
We will, however, continue to live our lives. God still has a plan for each and every one of us. As we all take today to remember and reflect, lets also take tomorrow to move on in honor of the ones who can no longer can. Lets move on in honor of the God they were worshiping that night. OUR God.
Unfortunately, due to a stress fracture in my left foot, I was not able to complete this task, but I am not gonna let that get me down.
I write this with a heavy heart, yes. Why? Well, it is a heavy subject to talk about isn't it? However, as I sit back and look at life today as compared to even one week ago, I am in absolute awe of what God is doing today.
Thank you to all of those who support me, prayerfully, emotionally and financially. You all have been amazing. I cannot wait to share with you all some of the awesomeness that has gone on, and why I am so excited about what God is up to in Elbasan these days.
However, for now, I want to thank you all for supporting me, even in my seeming failures, like not being able to do this walk. For me, deciding not to walk was gut-wrenching in the beginning, but I can now see how God has used it for good anyway.
For all those who were affected by what happened today, 15 years ago, shattering a community and making faith feel slightly less safe, my prayers continually go out to you.
I can't believe its been 15 years. For those of us who it touched directly, whether present that night or not, it still feels like yesterday, because it is a part of who we are.
We will never forget.
We will, however, continue to live our lives. God still has a plan for each and every one of us. As we all take today to remember and reflect, lets also take tomorrow to move on in honor of the ones who can no longer can. Lets move on in honor of the God they were worshiping that night. OUR God.
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