Parenthood

Oh how life has changed. Many of the things people prepare you for when they hear you are expecting are the difficulties. Sleepless nights, diapers, the terrible twos and the teenage years. Until now I can say I have experienced a couple of those things and they are so very true. However, the thing that leaves me scratching my head is how no one really bothers to try to explain how wonderful, scary, impossible and big it all feels.

When people would tell me about their birth experiences, they would only focus on the pain and possibly the length of time spent laboring. They never told me how amazing it is to watch a tiny person come from your own body.

When people would talk about their partners being in the room, more often the discussion lead towards fainting and blood than what I felt, amazing support and a joy unspeakable when  I saw my husband's reaction as he first laid eyes on our boy. The way he carefully and nervously cut the cord to give him life outside the womb, made me feel a pride unexplainable.

When peope talk about seeing and holding their baby for the first time, they often talk about goo and grossness. All I remember is this tiny, wailing baby being laid on my chest. As he screamed his lungs out, I wrapped my hands around him and said three simple words, "Hey, hey, hey.". The  way my son immediately soothed and stopped crying there on my chest upon hearing my voice made me feel like a mother for real.

For me the past 10 days have been the most miraculous, emotional, impossible, happiest 864,000 seconds of my life. When I hold that tiny boy I still feel the most amazing joy surge through my body and fill my heart full.

Thank you to everyone who has helped us through this process of coming to America, having a roof over our heads, getting work, baby gifts, visiting the hospital when he was born and everything in between.

There are moments in the midst of the happiness that cause sheer panic as well. Like when he is crying and you don't know why, but all that is washed away when he finally calms and I see him look at me with those big sweet eyes.

If you think you are a person of faith, have a child. Its the most painful impossible love, but I  recommend everyone experience it and it will definitely push you to trust more in God.

Thanks for reading.

For Gio