February 16, 2011

And when we think we lead, we are most led.
~Lord Byron

The best example of leadership is leadership by example.
~Jerry McClain




Having been in a few churches in my life, and in leadership in many of them, I would like to take a moment to share some observations. I apologize in in advance for the inevitable toes that will be stepped on.

It seems to me that, other than a selective few, churches across America are struggling to gain more than 100 or so members in an average Sunday morning service. A church may claim to have 250, 300 or even 500 members, but when you actually attend a Sunday service all you see is 100-150. This means that a LOT of people are coming through the church doors, and more than HALF of them are, for one reason or another, not staying. Why could this be?

Reason #1- It is impossible to please everyone.

Yes this is true, and if you try to please everyone you may end up doing more damage than good in the world, however it is also a dangerously fine line to walk when it comes to choosing to have that attitude in leadership. You see, it is a fact that you cannot please everyone, however that does not give us permission to treat people differently just because they may require more attention, or try to draw attention to themselves. You see, the thing is that if it weren't for people who were hurt and crying out for attention, then this ministry we live would not exist. As the church, we should treat all people equally, with love. If they decide to leave (and it will happen from time to time) then we can watch them leave out the back door knowing that we did eveything we could to show them the love of God.

Reason #2- We don't have the right programs for the people and their families.

This is also a true reason why people leave churches every single day. They feel like their kids might get better attention elsewhere. I have even heard leadership say, "Well, if we could just get some people to volunteer, then we could have a kids/youth program as good as ABC Church down the road then MAYBE we could keep some of these families we are losing!" Dear Pastor/Leader, there is a bigger reason why we are losing family after family and I will discuss it in a later point.

Reason #3- People are just too busy for church.

Wow, yet another extremely valid point. This is very true. Most people are so busy that they can't even tell you which way is up or down, and that's before they try to plan their religious activity. I do not deny the validity of this point, but I do have to ask one question of all my Pastor/Leader friends and family: Is it the people who are too busy? Or is it you? That leads me to my final point.

Reason #4- People do not form lasting relationships inside the walls of the church.

This is going to be a long point, so strap on your seat belt and hold on, we're in for a long haul. You see, of all the years I have been in church and, even more recently, directly involved in ministry, I have seen people try the same things over and over again and reap no lasting result. Often times as leaders we give our EVERYTHING every single day to make sure that things are absolutely perfect for that Sunday morning visitor.

For example, we want to make sure that the right music is chosen for praise and worship, and that it is preformed flawlessly, so that we don't look stupid. Something like bad music might make a visitor not want to come back to this church.

Then we want to make sure that we fit in all our announcements/offering/communion without anyone getting bent out of shape or bored with it, so we plan it to the "T" assuring that there is some sort of major multimedia involved, because a visitor who loses interest might not come back to this church.

After that we get our fearless leader on stage. We want to make sure he is dressed just right, not too dressy so as not to embarrass visitors who may have dressed more casually that morning, but also not TOO casual because we don't want to offend the older crowd. They are reliable tithers. All because if even ONE thing goes wrong, that visitor might not come back to this church.

Then we have the pastor escorted off by body guards, so that none of the visitors gets to talk to him. He is a busy man, and has things to do. Plus, that visitor who doesn't want to come back next week might want to talk to him and tell him why. We don't need our pastor to have to deal with their burden. After all they aren't coming back next week anyway, right?




Now I am going to ask a question that is going to make you all mad.

Why can't we do it differently?

Seriously. What would happen if we didn't bombard our guests with bulletins and fake smiles, but instead our members were trained to greet new people as they saw them sit down around them? What if they were trained this way, because this is what they have seen their leadership practice day in and day out? What if we planned events, not based on the newest video teaching that has come out, but based on hanging out and getting to know one another?

Then...

What would happen when members of our churches became friends with one another? What would happen if they were there for each other, even without having to be asked? What would happen if they showed up at each others doors, just because they knew they were welcome and wanted to drop in and say hi. What if they did this and it wasn't even Sunday?????

After that...

What would happen when they began to live life together, as a band of family. As people who deserve to be called Christians, not because they have done every little thing right, but because they individually have an unending relationship with God through Jesus Christ (even though they may fall at times) and because they cumulatively help each other out in difficult and even scandalous life affairs, all while leading by example.


What if the only judge we faced in Christianity was God?

What if we could try something different?

What if it worked?

What if we changed the world?



And on a rather touchy closing note, I would SERIOUSLY encourage you to RUN as fast as you can away from any church who's pastor does not take at least a minute to say hi to you.

I know I crunched some toes tonight, but I really have this on my heart and I have a passion to see passion for God spread like wildfire. The way we are going now, there will be less than four percent of high school graduates choosing to follow God in their life after high school. If we keep going the way we are, we will wipe out Christianity completely, maybe even as soon as the next generation to graduate high school. We need to do an abrupt about face, and it starts with you.

Christianity has never been about works. It is not about what you do. It is about relationship, that is, having an unfailing relationship with the Savior of the world, Jesus Christ, who died to bridge the gap between God and man.

Take a moment to put that into practice into your church. It is not about works, but about relationships. REAL relationships. Lasting friendships. Genuine caring for one another.


You might even call it unconditional love.


That is how we will change the world.


Matthew 22:36-40 (New International Version, ©2010)

36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.' 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”


Disclaimer: I am not trying to say that structure and multimedia presentations are wrong, all I am trying to say is that we need to prioritize our time better. If the time we spend on the items is more than the quality time we spend developing actual relationships with people, then something is very wrong, and I even venture to say the church that chooses to do this will not succeed.