March 5, 2010

Tonight has been one of the most challenging nights of my life. As I sat here thinking about it, I realized that tonight I would like to try and write an encouraging blog, looking at the bright side of life. If I can do it tonight, then I know I can do it any time. So, here we go:

A long time ago, in what seems like another lifetime, I was very very active in a church. I was also on staff, and that may have been the worst decision I ever made in my life. Don't get me wrong, I was totally enthralled with my job and I loved every little bit of it. I was one staff as the Media Director for the church, and I also volunteered as the Missions Director and as Assistant Youth Pastor.

At this time in my life, I met a great group of people, whom I will never forget... especially the youth. Our group was filled with kids from all backgrounds and every kind of family (or lack thereof). I think God really built up a great thing inside of me, as I grew to love fellowshipping with and helping the kids through life and its ups and downs. I saw the kids grow up in God and get excited about their future. I even worked extra hours every day of several weeks one summer to help the kids put on a car wash to pay their way to camp. We took 22 kids to youth camp that year, 100% paid for. Things were GREAT. And then it happened.

I will spare you some of the gritty details and just say that I was released from my job and the church ended up changing leadership and names, which to me meant that the church I knew pretty much just shut down. I tried to attend the knew church with the new name and the new leadership, but I had way too much hurt in my heart just being in that building. I moved on to a new church and to the beginning of a one year journey that would be different than I could have ever imagined.

It started out with a deep deep depression of sorts. I felt as if I had let my youth down by leaving the church, but I was so confused and torn because I KNEW it was what God had been leading me to do. I immediately got involved in another church, working the sound for Wed night services. It was a great opportunity for me to move on, but it also brought up too much hurt in me and I stepped down from the position about a month later. I also left the church, because I was so embarrassed by the fact that I couldn't cut it volunteering there due to my emotional distress. After that I spent a good 8 months or so just searching for the right church. I even spent a month or so at one, but I just couldn't seem to find that feeling of being in the right place. I was always on edge.

Eventually I came back to the church where I once worked the Wed night sound, and I apologized for leaving so abruptly. I was so blessed and felt so lucky to be accepted back into the church immediately. I am still at that church to this day, and I feel like family.

After coming back I started to wonder what happened to all my youth. I had heard that the old church didn't have youth meetings anymore, and I wondered where they had all ended up. To make a very long story not quite as long, I was able to call them (or text them) and get a hold of almost ten of them. This group now regularly attends church with me again at this new church and I go out of my way to pick them up and bring them every Sun/Wed that they are willing to come. I have broken down TWO cars and been more challenged than ever since I started doing this, but I know I am doing the right thing and I am excited to see these kids excited about God and life again. They got into my car the other night and even though they usually listen to whatever is on the local radio, the grabbed my iPod and instead turned on some worship songs and praised God the whole way home. I think we have reached a higher level.

I believe that if we invest into the people around us, and REFUSE to give up on them, then they will never let us down. I see huge potential in each and every one of these youth, and regardless of what I may want to do, I will never let them down. I once had a youth pastor take me out ministering in our community. When we were done, he looked at me and my friend and said, "WOW! You guys are great at this. I see God in your lives!". These words changed my life forever. Its funny what one positive comment can do in the life of a kid. I was twelve at the time, and even though this youth pastor now lives far away (Indiana) I will never forget the impact he made on me. Just think of what we can do if we will just refuse to give up on one another. Without people like my youth pastor, I would have been a very lost kid in a very, very bad situation. Instead I was a God led child in the middle of all of life's craziness, and instead of letting it change me, I have changed my life through God, and no one will ever take that away.