March 6, 2011

So many times we think we are walking this walk alone, only to look down and realize that we are not walking at all, but being carried by Him. ~J


I am such a control freak. Seriously. I spend a good part of my day analyzing things and trying to figure out how to best do things, to assure they work. Failure is embarrassing, and if I hold on tight, I can probably minimalize the damage. I have seen great success in my life, partially because of this. However, there is a big problem in living life this way. You see, hard as I may try, I honestly cannot guarantee myself anything at all. So then, how do I find true, unbridled success? How do I assure my ventures will turn out the way I planned?

I can't. You see, that's just the thing: it's MY plan.

In the last quarter of 2010, I took a weekend off, spent a couple nights in a ritzy hotel searching for the heart of God. I wanted to see Him face to Face. I wanted to hear from Heaven, here on earth. I read my Bible and listened to old messages from Metroplex Family Church. It was in that time, that I heard a plan from God for my life.

You might be wondering how I knew it was God. Well, first of all, that's what I set out to do: hear from God. Secondly, I am not the kind of person who likes plans. I am very spontaneous, and I love the "romanticism" of something great happening, even without a plan. It just makes things seem even more exciting when you know that they were not planned. At least for me. So, I knew when I came up with a great plan for my life, it was NOT from me. There is a third reason I know it was God, and I will go into that a little later...

For now, I want to give praise and glory to God for all He has done for me in the past six months. My life is literally not recognizable compared to where I was this time last year. It is all due to this awesome plan He gave me.

You may have seen me reference "The Plan" on FB or in other venues in recent months. This is exactly the thing I am talking about today. So what is this plan? God guided me in quite specific directions, that I would not have taken on my own. For example, I was not making enough money to accomplish my ministry goal of spending time in Albania. So, the first step in "the plan" was to get a Pharmacy Tech license. It took me about a month or so, but I did it. The next step was the big one. I work for a HUGE company and I had a very detailed and important job. This was great, except for the fact that they didn't want to let me transfer. I needed to be able to switch jobs to utilize the RX Tech license I had gotten so that I could produce more income for the ministry. My bosses did not want me to go, and I was scared... mostly because the store manager I had to get approval from was, well, scary.

I finally secured a position within the company, and the only thing left to do was to get approval from Scary Manager. So, I prayed (and prayed and prayed) and I made an appointment to sit down with her and discuss the situation. As it turned out, I had huge favor with this manager (she was very happy with the work I had done in my department) and she gladly gave me permission to transfer. Step 2 complete.

Step three was to work for no more than six months in the Pharmacy and then go to Albania for an extended stay. This was the part where it got a little more difficult. I had to learn a new trade all while not revealing my plan to leave the company within a few months.

Needless to say, there have been bumps along the way, but all has worked out well. Amazingly well, in fact. I have been at this job for almost 4 months now, and this Friday is my last day. After that I take two weeks off to focus on ministry and fund raising, and after that, I leave for my 3 month extended stay in Albania. I will be building a youth group in the church I work in there.

The third reason I know the plan was from God? It worked.

If you have a dream that you feel like is impossible to accomplish, all I have to say to you is BUT GOD.

Nothing is impossible.

To prove that point even more, I will tell you another story. I have been wanting to go to the Hillsong United concert in Dallas for months, but they have been sold out for a long time. At one point I found tickets for $200 each and I decided to honor God and "the plan" He gave me, and just to save that amount of money for my trip. It was a huge sacrifice, but I didn't throw in the towel. Last week, sitting in my car before church service, I prayed to God. It went something like this, "God, I want to go to this concert so bad, but I need to go for free. Give me wisdom and make a way".

On Wednesday night, March 2, I got an email. An email from HILLSONG UNITED! Some time ago I had written a submission asking to be a part of their street team when they come to Dallas. I was one of six people that they chose to come help sell their merchandise. I worked the table for about 45 minutes total, and got to see almost the WHOLE show... for free. =)

God makes me smile. Some may say its a coincidence, but I know my God doesn't work that way, and I won't let anyone insult what He has done for me by calling it that.

I feel so immersed in God right now, and the concert only gave a huge boost to that. I am amped for Him, and I am ready to take that to the youth of Albania.

22 days till I leave.

Thanks for reading!

J