Dear Jesus,
I come to You today as a dirty rotten sinner who is thankful for Your amazing grace to save and Your never ending cleansing blood. I am a person who will always be without perfection, but You continually forgive me and love me. On top of that, You inspire me to move forward, and open doors for me, lighting my path as I take each step.
I want to apologize to You on behalf of Your people as a whole. You see, as You know, I work at a great job that provides finances to meet all my needs. As I go about my day to day business at this job, I see people of every kind. Some are hurting physically. Some are hurting emotionally. Some are hurting spiritual. Sometimes I can tell the difference between the different kinds of hurt. Sometimes, I am blinded by my carelessness.
Today, as I was working, a young lady approached the pharmacy and asked for a drug called "Plan B". She was upset and embarrassed and just wanted to buy the drug and leave. You see, Lord, "Plan B" is a drug designed to help a lady rid herself of a possible pregnancy.
God, as I understand it, life is a gift from You, and one of infinite possibilities. I would hate to throw away any gift that came straight from Your very hands. It seems to me the most unfathomable slap directly in Your face. However, Lord, it gets worse. I am sorry to say that we as a people have decided that it is ok for this girl to rid herself of a baby, if she thinks it will be for the best. In our society, it is not only socially acceptable, but completely lawful for her to do this. This girl does not end the life that You give. We as a society choose to have all of our hands on it.
Sure there are protests and demonstrations against such things, but apparently we have not done enough.
Jesus, I pray this to you today because my job does not allow me to stop her. My job does not even allow me to get to know her or try to just listen to her story. My job requires that I sell her the drug, and go on to other things. I pray this to You today, God, because the only thing I can do is pray... but then again, maybe it should have been the first things I did, instead of a last resort. Forgive me for that, and grant me wisdom in this day and age I live in. More so than ever, today I am thankful just that I am ALIVE. I know You put me here for a reason, and for that alone I am thankful.
Luke 23:34- Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Tonight as I was making my usual rounds, going to pick up kids for church, I realized that my old church building had been knocked down. This really set off some emotions in me. Even though I have been gone from that church for two years, it brought up some very real hurt from the past.
I continued on with my duties, picked up all the kids and went to church. It just so happens that the message tonight was on "hurt". What a topic to speak on, right? I sat in the back, alone and with tears streaming down my face. I asked God to do something big for me tonight. I needed to see him move. I was tired of hurting.
Well, I left that service still feeling a little down, but I promised to take the kids out to eat afterwards, so we all went to Chick-Fil-A, on me. On the way home from the restaurant, instead of listening to music, we played a little "ice breaker" type game. Each person got to choose anyone they wanted and then ask that person any question of their choice. It was a getting-to-know-you thing.
As the game progressed, one of the kids was asked what one person had had the most influence on her life. Her answer went like this, "Well I used to be a very different person, and it wasn't good. I would have to say that the person who has helped me change the most is Julie. She is always there to take me to church and stuff, and I have changed a lot because of that."
Oh my goodness. After all the pain and hurt and struggling and fighting to make things right after being done VERY wrong at my last church, I felt like it was all worth it. Every minute of my pain is worth that one sentence. Every single kid who I have seen struggle, and struggled with to fight through life's tough times was all validated in that one sentence.
In a instant, God took my mourning and hurt and turned my tears into tears of joy.
I am so blessed to be living the life that God has called me to. A few weeks ago, I made a promise to God that in 2011 I would give it all up and live my life completely in the calling He has given me. I promised Him that I would live the dreams He created in me. I feel like after tonight he said, "Scratch 2011, lets start right now."
Today in a post on Facebook I made the statement that I was the most unlucky person ever because my brother got to meet my favorite baseball player ever. I want to retract that and replace it with this: I am the luckiest person alive. I am only 25 years old and I am seeing my dreams come to pass left and right. I am so honored to live my life for God. I always knew that I would serve Him in a special way.
I remember one time, when I was about 10 or 11, I was standing outside the front of my church, looking towards Downtown Fort Worth. I pointed at the city and spoke to the people I could not see. I told them that if I had my way, they would all be coming to God soon, and they would know His true love. I told them that they could run but they couldn't hide and that I would find a way to touch their lives for God. I stopped talking when I got caught by one of the adults in the church, and embarrassed I walked away.
Today, I feel like that dream of touching people for Him has become a reality in my life. I really am so blessed to serve Him. There are no words to describe what tonight has meant to me. Thank you Jonathan for an outstanding message, thank you Pastor Brian Jacobs for giving me a new family at MFC, and thanks to the kids who put up with me week after week, even if I am hard on them from time to time. Thank you God for touching my life in the way You have. I pray that I will be open to be used by You every single day. All of You, none of me.
Thanks for reading!
Julie
I continued on with my duties, picked up all the kids and went to church. It just so happens that the message tonight was on "hurt". What a topic to speak on, right? I sat in the back, alone and with tears streaming down my face. I asked God to do something big for me tonight. I needed to see him move. I was tired of hurting.
Well, I left that service still feeling a little down, but I promised to take the kids out to eat afterwards, so we all went to Chick-Fil-A, on me. On the way home from the restaurant, instead of listening to music, we played a little "ice breaker" type game. Each person got to choose anyone they wanted and then ask that person any question of their choice. It was a getting-to-know-you thing.
As the game progressed, one of the kids was asked what one person had had the most influence on her life. Her answer went like this, "Well I used to be a very different person, and it wasn't good. I would have to say that the person who has helped me change the most is Julie. She is always there to take me to church and stuff, and I have changed a lot because of that."
Oh my goodness. After all the pain and hurt and struggling and fighting to make things right after being done VERY wrong at my last church, I felt like it was all worth it. Every minute of my pain is worth that one sentence. Every single kid who I have seen struggle, and struggled with to fight through life's tough times was all validated in that one sentence.
In a instant, God took my mourning and hurt and turned my tears into tears of joy.
I am so blessed to be living the life that God has called me to. A few weeks ago, I made a promise to God that in 2011 I would give it all up and live my life completely in the calling He has given me. I promised Him that I would live the dreams He created in me. I feel like after tonight he said, "Scratch 2011, lets start right now."
Today in a post on Facebook I made the statement that I was the most unlucky person ever because my brother got to meet my favorite baseball player ever. I want to retract that and replace it with this: I am the luckiest person alive. I am only 25 years old and I am seeing my dreams come to pass left and right. I am so honored to live my life for God. I always knew that I would serve Him in a special way.
I remember one time, when I was about 10 or 11, I was standing outside the front of my church, looking towards Downtown Fort Worth. I pointed at the city and spoke to the people I could not see. I told them that if I had my way, they would all be coming to God soon, and they would know His true love. I told them that they could run but they couldn't hide and that I would find a way to touch their lives for God. I stopped talking when I got caught by one of the adults in the church, and embarrassed I walked away.
Today, I feel like that dream of touching people for Him has become a reality in my life. I really am so blessed to serve Him. There are no words to describe what tonight has meant to me. Thank you Jonathan for an outstanding message, thank you Pastor Brian Jacobs for giving me a new family at MFC, and thanks to the kids who put up with me week after week, even if I am hard on them from time to time. Thank you God for touching my life in the way You have. I pray that I will be open to be used by You every single day. All of You, none of me.
Thanks for reading!
Julie
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