December 31, 2011

Definition of FIRE

1

a (1) : the phenomenon of combustion manifested in light, flame, and heat.

I have been wanting to do a word study on "fire" for a long time. Even though I am just beginning that process, the things I read as I study cause a stirring in my spirit. There should be a fire burning inside of all who call themselves Christians. I want to take a moment and challenge you today. Do you have the 3 elements that it takes to be a burning fire? Is there REALLY a fire LIVING inside of you? Let's find out...

As of right now you are obviously (if you come from any sort of Christian background) being reminded of the fire that guided the Israelites. In Exodus chapter 13 we see that God Himself provided His people with a pillar of fire by night as they went forth to do what He asked of them. This is exciting and is an obvious look into the future of what the Holy Spirit/Helper is to us today. Even though this is absolute amazingness (I know thats not a word) to read about and everyone in their right mind would give anything to see God do such a thing today, this is not the exact direction I want to take with the word "fire".

Let me ask you something? Do you have days where you feel like the last thing you want to do is pretend to be happy? Do you ever pull up to the church parking lot and think something like, "I really, really don't want to fake a smile again today."? Do you ever walk out of a Sunday worship experience untouched by God and wondering what's wrong? Do I sound like an advertisement for an anti-depressant right now? Haha, ok, ok... moving on...

Seriously? How many Christians are living their lives in deep, deep depressive states? How many people who call themselves Christians can't remember the last time they shared their faith? How many of us can't accept the fact that we will have ups and downs in this human life, and so when the downs hit we don't know how to handle the emotions? Again, I ask. Seriously?

I am not saying that we are to live life above emotion. I believe this concept has been wrongly taught in the church. I believe God created human emotion for a reason. I also believe that God gave us opportunity to know Him through Jesus and to know His hand on our lives through the ups AND the downs because as Jesus (God Himself manifested as human) left the earth, He gave us the Helper (Holy Spirit). Why would he call the Holy Spirit "the Helper" (John 15:26) if He wasn't here to help us through difficult times? So, lets study this "Helper" a little bit...

The first time we see it stated in the scripture that the New Testament Church was touched by the Holy Spirit was in Acts chapter 2. You will notice that in verse 3 it says that as the Holy Spirit came upon them, He appeared as if tongues or flames of fire had settled on each person. In my word study for fire, I knew I would find the Holy Spirit right in the middle of it all, but the more I think about it, the more I actually wonder how many people who call themselves "Christian" actually let the fire settle on them in their every day lives.

Lets take this back to a word study for a moment, looking at what Merriam Webster has to say about the definition of the very word:

Definition of FIRE

1

a (1) : the phenomenon of combustion manifested in light, flame, and heat 

You will see, that in Webster's opinion, fire is a combustion (act or instance of burning) of three things: light, flame and heat.

I have to admit that when I saw that fire was a combination of three things, combusting to create something new and useful, I wanted to find a way to tie it to the Trinity. I haven't done a lot of study on this, so if you feel the same as I do, search it out. Get in the Word and ask God to reveal something to you today. That's your homework. Let me know what you find out. Moving on...

When I was a kid, I had this friend named Irna. We were soooo passionate about the things of God. We literally got school bullies saved and sang worship publicly in supermarkets at the top of our voice. As life moved on and things changed, I began to notice that this passion/fire I used to have seemed to slowly dim or even at times fully burn out. Part of my desire to research and do a study on the word "fire" was because I wanted to restore something inside of me. I wanted to remind myself of who I really am and of what I am capable of with God on my side. 2 Timothy 1:6 is a reminder to stir ourselves up in our faith. In the New Living Translation it even says "fan into flames the spiritual gift God gave you..."

As I try to remind, build and stir myself up, I remember the fire I used to have. So, lets look again at the word fire...

Definition of FIRE

1

a (1) : the phenomenon of combustion manifested in light, flame, and heat.

Fire begins immediately when three things are combined: light, flame and heat. Where do we find these elements in our lives? How do we work these three ideas into spirituality? Obviously the light, to me, would be the light of salvation: Christ in me. I could get super deep just on this one point, but for the sake of writing a BLOG and not a book, I will refrain. However, if you want to know more about this salvation and how Christ can live in you, feel free to ask questions or to contact me in any way. 

Now, we know we need light (the light of salvation, Christ in us). Where do we get the flame? I want to refrain to Timothy when God told him to "fan into flames the gift God has given". God has put a passion inside of every one of us, a calling you might even say. When you have Jesus living in you, begin to search out what God is really saying to you. What passions has He given you? As you begin to stir yourself up in that way, you will find that He has placed a boldness inside of you to accomplish the calling. Fan it into a flame. 

Next, we will see that we need heat. I struggled a little bit with what this might mean. In the end I came to this conclusion: you need a little heat in your life. You need the strength to speak up. To speak out against wrong. Don't let others dominate what you do and believe. You need the ability to speak with heat. Its like when you burn yourself on the oven. It likely isn't a burn so bad that it will leave a scar, but in the end... without even trying... the oven has taught you a lesson about what it is and how you treat it. We need to take the boldness God has put in us, and use it to teach others how to react to who we really are. This may be more difficult (and applicable) where family and friends are concerned. They have known you most of (if not all) of your life, and when they see that you have plans to follow Christ in a way that is bigger than what they had imagined for you, this is when you will need this heat. In a way that doesn't leave a scar, you will need the heat/boldness to proclaim the truth about every step you take. You will need the heat to burn when they tell you it can't be done.

Fan the flame. 

Unfortunately, you cannot (in any way) have fire without the risk of burn. I encourage you today to begin to ask God what passions and gifting He has put in you. Ask Him how He would like to use you in this world. It may be bigger than what you had expected. Then, begin to study His Word. Learn about Him. Learn Who He is. Let Him speak to you. Fan into flames what He has put inside of you. Don't let the world, family, friends, or even the church put it out. It will take boldness. Learn to burn without scarring. Learn to be refined inside the very flame you are stirring. Don't be afraid to let God change you. It will burn and it will hurt at times in the process, but something brilliant and blazing will arise, if you will only let Him do the work He WANTS to do in you.

Be a fire in the church. There are so many Christians who go to church every week, but are still only Christian by name. They find ways to bend the rules to fit their life and the way they want to live. If you wanted to be a firefighter, you would not show up to work in a clown costume and expect to be able to ride on the engine and do the work. Why do we show up at church (often times in theoretical clown costumes) acting like we want to be something that, if we were to look at the way we live, we really don't want to be. If you don't want to live like a Christian, don't go to church and tell the world you ARE a Christian. However, if you feel like there is something inside of you that God has placed that can be fanned into flames, then go to church, seek counsel, get on your knees before God. Ask Him to change the things in your life that you struggle with. Seek out accountability and practical guidelines to help you overcome whatever you are battling. IT IS POSSIBLE. Christianity is not a game. Don't treat it like one.

Fan it into flames.

Thanks for reading.

J

December 8, 2011

In the end, dear friend, it is always between us and God, not between us and them. ~Mother Teresa

Sometimes God puts people in your life just to prove a point. For me, He has brought an exceptional friend along my side in the past few month. She is someone who inspires me in so many ways. I can't even begin to convey how thankful I am to God for placing her in my life at this strategic time. I didn't realize it before I moved onto the mission field, but even though I was already saved and serving the Lord, He was pursuing my heart in a HUGE way... and He was out to prove a point to me.

Over my life I have had endless opportunity in every area, good and not so good. In times of decision, I can honestly say that I haven't always taken the righteous path. Sometimes I have even looked God in the face and said "No" to what He was directly telling me. It was in these times that I opened a door of sin in my life, and through this open door came much hurt and darkness that hid itself deep inside my heart over many many years. Not everything that has happened to me has been by fault of my own decisions, but for the things that were direct results of my poor choices, I held onto the pain and regret. Sometimes, I didn't even know I regretted the things I had done, thus allowing an icy wall to slowly build up around parts of my life, my heart and my spirit.

Upon taking a step of faith and making the permanent move to Albania, I began to see God work an array of miracles in my life and I saw Him put very specific things in order. One of those things was a place for me to live. Once I had made the final decision to stay in Albania, God opened the door for me to move in with a missionary friend who had been living in Albania for a little over 2 years already. Thankfully this allowed my financial situation to be much less stressful, as my cost of living would be only half of what I was expecting it to be. Little did I know what God was really up to. I knew that He had His hand all over the situation, because of the way He brought me and this roommate together. You see, she is a gal from South Africa who I met on a random trip to the ice cream shop on one of my short term trips in 2007 or 2008 (I really can't remember which year). God did a seemingly random thing when we met that night and hit it off immediately as the best of friends. Over the years, even from miles away, we kept in contact via internet. This is what opened the door for me to move in with her and split expenses as we both tackled the calling God had on our lives.

That being said, I knew God did something extraordinary in creating a special friendship between two people who had a heart for the same tiny nation, but I didn't realize that He wasn't done yet. In the first few months of rearranging your entire life, moving countries, changing cultures and trying to build a new life in a different place, your emotions can become a bit unsettled. Its not that I broke down or anything, but I began to see God using my vulnerability to reveal those icy places in my heart. As those things began to rear their heads, this wonderful friend God had already placed in my life allowed herself to be used endlessly to show me Gods unending love for ME. You see, I had always known of God's love, and of course I "knew" He loved me... but I was missing something. The funny thing is that I never knew I was lacking in this way, but God moved and showed me things that I am eternally grateful for.

In the end, I have seen a bit of a roller coaster in many ways since taking this move into ministry. However, I can honestly say that I know God has a plan for me here, and that I am following His ways step by step on a new journey, with a new realization for His love for me in my heart. Without this true knowledge of how He loves me, how could I have ever reached out to others? I am so glad that even when we think we have arrived, God has a new fire to put us through, and that He uses that to refine us to values we never thought we could reach. I am worth more than I know, and so are you.

In the end I am so thankful for the way that this special friend helped me through those hard times. Today is a special day for me, in celebrating a spiritual victory and freedom. I "raise my glass" to her for all the tears, hugs and love we have seen each other through. I know it is hard to do what we do, and I am so inspired by the way I have seen her live her life for God.

I want to set an example for the young people out there who think the world is too hard of a place to live in AND to truly live like a Christian. The truth is, this is a girl who is over 30 and is 100% pure in many ways, not just the one that you are thinking of. She has integrity in every area in life and I think you should listen closely and use this story to set "the bar" in your life.

This is a girl who seeks God on every decision, even things that may seem small. She sets boundaries in her life and abides tightly by them. It is easy to fall into sin, and to open the door to darkness in your life, but it is also easy to stay pure and to live as a Christian example in your family, school and even church. Imagine being a Christian who is so dedicated to purity that God begins to use you as an example to other people who are already living the Christian life.

It is as simple as saying yes to some things and no to others. It is as simple as living in God's Word AND taking His Word for exactly what it says. Live it out on a day to day basis. You can do it. Be encouraged. There ARE Christians out there who are living like it. Begin to pursue God on how to be one of them.

I want to take a minute and thank my bestie. I don't need to mention names, because she knows exactly who she is AND she knows why I am thanking her today. If it wasn't for the way God used her in my life over the past 8-9 months, I don't know if I would have been able to fulfill His calling in the equipped way I can today. I thank God for people like her who lay down their entire life and being for the sake of God and I thank her for taking time to care about my tiny and seemingly unimportant issues. It has made all the difference in my life.

Live you life in a way that you can show God to others and set in motions changes in their lives that will impact generations to come. This isn't about who has bread to eat and who doesn't. This is about eternity. We can feed people and build them houses, but in the end if they go to hell without knowing God, what have we really done?

Be inspired today to live life in a way where your decisions are based solely on what will matter in eternity. Anything else is frivolous and has a definite expiration date.

Thanks for reading,

Julie

October 16, 2011

Truth is, you're worth it all.

- God



I am going to steal a page out of my roommates book right now and talk a little bit about eternity. You see, sometimes, in the scheme of things, we forget to look at the real "Big Picture". We spend time worry about trivial things: I can't be late to church, they didn't sing my favorite song in worship today, the lady who is SUPPOSED to clean the church this week didn't show up and now I have to rush to get the church in order before service today, I would bring my friend to church... but Sunday is their only day off and I don't want to put another burden on them. These kinds of things, and many more, seem so important in the light of the very moment when we are dealing with them, however I think we need to ask ourselves a question. What do these things mean in the light of eternity?

IF we desire to continue to call ourselves Christians, I think its about time we started to act like it and weigh things out on a different scale. The truth is that the lady who is supposed to clean the church might not have shown up to church today because she is battling severe depression and just couldn't handle the thought of living one more day the same old way. Therefore, when she finally does show up and gets shot a "Where were you?" look by you from across the room, it does nothing but dig her hole a little deeper. In the end, what did you miss out on by cleaning the church for her anyway? Lunch at Wendy's with your buddies?

Ok, so maybe my examples are a bit radical, but the truth is that it will take a radical generation... a radical race even... to change the world and to make an impact that is eternal. Why don't we begin to befriend the ones who have treated us unjustly? If they don't want to be befriended, pray for them. Why aren't we lifting up the Christians who are hurting? Why aren't we training up leaders to counsel instead of people to point their fingers?

In the end, the only thing that will matter for the people who have known you is whether or not the things you did pointed them to Jesus. Lets not get legalistic about this and think every little tiny decision through until we give ourselves stomach ulcers. However, lets instead make time for Jesus in our morning routine. Take 5 minutes and invite Him into our day. Invite Him into our decision making, so that we don't have to worry so much, but only listen to His leading.

When the cleaning lady stands before God one day, all that will matter to her is whether or not Christ was presented to her. Will you be the one to take a stand, sacrifice yourself and maybe even a little pride? I'm gonna be bold right now and call you all out. If you claim to be Christian, stand up and walk for Jesus, or go home. Its a rough thing to say, but truth is that you already KNOW the truth. God thinks you are SO worth it. Will you let Him live in your life? Will you trust Him with YOUR circumstances so that He in turn can trust you with others?

Go big or go home.


Thanks for reading,

Julie

September 30, 2011

Yesterday was a special day for me, a day to celebrate in fact. You see, as of yesterday, I have been living in Albania for six months. Wow! Time flies. So, I bet you'd like to hear a little about what I have been up to during this time. Well, here you go:

Honestly, I can say that things did not happen exactly the way I had planned them out. I came here in hopes of starting a youth group in a church where there were no youth interested in that kind of thing. Moving on from that experience and finding new ministry opportunities that God had in mind for me, I started to realize that He was using this experience to reach out to me in a unique way, just as much as He was using me here in Albania to reach others. Over the past six months I can truly say that God has shaken my world up, and turned my life up-side-down. That may sound like a tragic thing, and at times I can tell you it felt that way, but in the end He has shown me so much more of Who He is. I see Him in a whole new light now and I can say that my relationship with Him has reached new peaks. 

Now, with all that said, let me tell you a little bit about what I am doing here. First of all, I am still involved in the church I came to start a youth group in. I work there Monday through Friday helping to make lunch for the kids in a preschool that they run. I even support one of the little girls, financially, because her mom couldn't afford to send her. I have to admit, as much as I have always shied away from kids ministry, I am loving every minute of what I do at this preschool. The kids smiling faces warm my heart every single day, no matter what else is going on. It is such an honor to be involved in forming the life of a future Christian at such a young age. I know these kids love God now and I pray as we use Christian preschooling to shape them through formative years, that they will have the strength it takes to continue down the straight and narrow path that is a TRUE relationship with God and to live the lifestyle that goes along with it.

On another similar note, I have sort of fallen into what seems to be a street kids ministry. I am still waiting to see where God takes me on this particular adventure, but I know He has a plan. You see, there are many children sent out to the streets to beg in Elbasan, and they can get very pushy and have even been known for theft. Somehow, my roomate Kerri and I have ended up befriending a large number of them. We have been able to pray for them, buy them food and speak Jesus into their lives. Recently two or three of them have been showing up to church. However, it has been a rough transition, since without proper clothing or shoes, they seem to be feeling a little embarrassed by their appearance. However, I am very happy to say that as of last week, we have been able to get them a bag full of clothes and shoes to keep at the church for them to wear. Hopefully, they will no longer feel embarrassed. We have also found out that one of the younger ones is going to a preschool. We have secure a few small school supplies and a bag for him and are just waiting till we see him again and can give them to him.

Aside from that, I have been playing drums in church on Sunday and, of course, designing media and helping where I can. Right now I am transferring an entire song database into a new digital system for a church in town so that they can be more up to date and use their digital projector with the proper, video-enabled software. I have also made a support video for this same church that is, at this moment, circling the globe to all of their contacts. 

Needless to say, I have been busy, that's for sure. God is so good to me in enabling me to live out my calling. As I said before, He has done just as much work INSIDE of me as He has done through me. I have come to the amazing conclusion that He would have sent e all the way to Albania even if it was just to catch one more soul for His glory. And He would have done that even if the one soul was my own.

Know that God loves you more than you can imagine. Begin to ask Him to show Himself in bigger and better ways in your life, and don't be surprised when He does. 

Thanks for reading,

Julie

September 28, 2011

I found this in an old Myspace blog I was reading over today, and I quite enjoyed reading it again. I thought you might enjoy it too. From June of 2006:

I heard a very strange statement this morning. It is a statement that many of us have heard over and over again. It is a kind of saying in these current times; one of the little things we say, that when analyzed, does not make much sense at all.
The saying is "I have lost faith in...(you fill in the blank)."
LOST YOUR FAITH? So, then, how do you get faith in the first place? Do you FIND it? Did you happen to stumble upon faith one day while walking in the grocery store? Is it just a random substance, appearing out of no where at the will of something higher than us? If you cannot simply "find" faith,  how then do you "lose" faith?
My personal belief is that faith is a choice. Faith is when you CHOOSE to believe in something that you may not have any sort of physical or logical reason to believe in.
For example: I am a Christian. I CHOOSE to believe in the life, death, burial, Resurrection, and current position of Jesus Christ. Now, you can try to talk me out of it all day long, and circumstances may not always be favorable towards my belief, but that is where faith comes in. I CHOOSE to continue in my faith. It is not some physical object that can be conveniently misplaced or "lost".
I don't mean to get on a soap box about this, but I now see why the term 'Think BEFORE you speak' is relevant. If we thought about what we said more often, would we even say it? I wonder how often we say things that make no sense at all. I am sure it is many more times in a day than we will ever realize.
All this to say, you cannot lose your faith. You did not lose your faith in the oil industry. You have CHOSEN to no longer believe in its integrity. You have not lost your faith in man kind, you have CHOSEN to belief that man is basically evil, instead of good.
You simply cannot "lose" your faith. You are not a puppet at the beck and call of the puppet master. You are a human being, making choices daily to form who you are and where you will go in this life.
We cannot waltz through life and expect everything to go our way. Everything we do and everything we are and everything we belive is what it is because we have made it that way through our choices. You are who you are because that's who you choose to be. You believe what you believe because that's what you choose to believe.
I hope this encourages us all to think before we say/do things, realizing that life is only about our choices. Choose faith, don't lose it.








I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did. Stay tuned for an exciting blog tomorrow!!!


Thanks for reading,


Julie

September 19, 2011

Wow, I haven't written anything in a REALLY long time. Not a single word. Well I guess I should get on with it then...

If you haven't kept up with me much, then you might not know that I have been living in Elbasan Albania since March. It has been a wild ride to say the least. I stepped out to pursue a dream and what I have always considered a calling. Sometimes, things are not easy. The truth is that any time you start to walk a new path in life, you will come against challenges you have never faced before. I have been there, done that and got the t-shirt. That's not to say everything is bad. I would have to say, actually, that the majority of the time I feel so blessed.

Every morning I get to wake up. Not only that, but I get to wake up in a nation that I absolutely love, where the land AND the people are beautiful. When I say the people are beautiful, I'm not really talking about appearance. There is something so basically human about the fact that, even if you are a stranger passing through their village, the people will always ask you to come to their house for a visit and a drink, if not a meal and to stay the night. It is almost completely offensive to not say hello to someone you know as you walk down the street, which might sound difficult, but in the end is very respectful and relational in my eyes. What a lovely people who will love one another so much as to go out of their way, even if they are late for work, just to greet me.

For years and years I dreamed of living this life. It was almost painful to live life the way I was back home. 9-5 in my meaningless job, going nowhere in a large company. Coming home, eating dinner, checking Facebook and once in a while having some hang out time with my friends was just not cutting it for me. Its not that my friends and family didn't make me happy, and its not that I don't have the deepest love for all of them (even if they don't believe me). Its just that every day I would wake up to a meaningless life, knowing I was created to do something different. It was an impossible way to live.

I remember coming on "short term" missions trips and after two weeks I would have to leave the land that I love and go back home. I remember sitting in the back of a car on the way to the airport, on several occasions, sobbing silently as I knew that I was doing the wrong thing by leaving. Since I was eight years old, I knew I was called to this nation, before I had even had an opportunity to set my own eyes on the land. God had a plan for me, a masterpiece painting of what my life could be, if I live in His will as a Christian. I see this masterful painting unfolding every day before my eyes. I feel like my life in America was on "pause" while I got older and older with nothing to really show for myself. Now that I am here living in Elbasan, I feel like God has really pressed the "Play" button.

As I said in the beginning, it has not all been easy. When you set out to be a better Christian and to live a radical life, God will always begin to show you areas of your life in which you can grow in and be better in. It is not always easy to have a light shone on the dark spots of a spirit. The secret, hidden pains made aware and anew. The bandaids from old hurts not dealt with ripped off and wounds re-exposed. Its not all easy, but it is all worth it.

See, what I have learned from all this so far, is that if I hadn't begun to deal with all the hurts in my own life, I would never be able to minister effectively to the street kids I love with all my heart, who are kicked out of their own houses and told not to come home until they have begged a certain amount of money. I also would not be able to minister in the correct way to the girl who is now leaving for college in a new and big European city. I would never have been able to give her the right advice at the right time, because it would have been from my mouth rather than the heart of God speaking through me.

Sometimes change is unbearable. Sometimes change is the hardest thing to deal with. Sometimes change can break a person. Thankfully, the path of change that God has laid out for me has been safe, even though I have had to face the refiners flame now and again. I am happy to say that I am doing well here in Elbasan, and I do not plan on coming home (other than for visits) or giving up on this mission any time soon. I want to thank all the people out there who have supported me with your prayers, finances or kind words. Every little word of encouragement, prayer and conversation mean more to me than you will ever know.

If you learn anything from this tonight, I would want it to be that you should take that leap of faith. Do what challenges you. Go where God calls you. Face your fears. If you don't you will never be able to fully experience the life that God intended for you.

Don't get me wrong, this isn't all about doing the right thing in the right way at the right time. It is about relationship with your Heavenly Father. Real relationship, not just church. Its about knowing Him and loving Him so much that you no longer WANT to sin. Its about being so intertwined with His desires that you don't have any problem resisting temptation, because you know the relationship He has with you is worth more than any affair or drug could bring you.

Take this one for free: Try Jesus. You will like Him.

Let Him melt the icy walls inside your heart. Let Him expose your hurts so He can bring restoration and healing. Lean on Him to bring you accountability so that you don't have to go through life alone.

Thanks for reading,

Julie

August 17, 2011

There's a piece of ice I've kept in me
I hide it away so no one can see
Its made of walls I've built inside
That mask my troubles and show my pride
And every time someone gets close
I push them away and on I go

People cannot melt this ice you see
I put it away buried in me
It keeps something hidden deep inside
That was given to me by my Guide
I do not let anyone come near
Because it is their love I fear

How can someone love me at all
When every day I try and I fall?
I mean the best in all I do
But again and again it all falls through
You cannot melt this ice that hides
Away inside a secret prize

Oh but what is this I see?
Someone gave their life for me?
He has shown His perfect love
And He still holds me today from above
My eyes looking up are filled with tears
And I no longer know where to find my fears

I grasp my chest as my heart is filled
My insides no longer are chilled
He melted the ice that lived in me
He made me who I am to be
He took away every single fear
Now the ice is melting into tears

As I look deep within a prize I find
He has put a precious jewel inside
A diamond He made so perfect and rare
Put it inside of me how He dare?
He loves me more than I can know
And with this diamond that He shows

I will show my diamond to the earth
So they can know of the birth
That saved the world from its own sin
The punishment we deserved to live in
I will show my diamond with humble pride
Because He has changed me from the inside.

July 23, 2011

The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief. ~William Shakespeare, Othello


I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa



As I write this my spirit is very heavy with burden. If you have somehow missed the news of the past 12 hours or so, then here is a link: Click me

As someone who has experience huge emotional tragedy, such as this, I can't help but sit here and wonder what I can do to help. I know when tragedy struck my community, it was the first responders, the emotional and spiritual supporters there in those first few vital days that made all the difference. It was the one person who would look at you and smile that knowing smile, or the one who would simply hold and console.

I can't help but look at articles about this attack over and over again, re-reading, trying to take it all in. To me, it is unfathomable that over 80 people were killed on that island. This tragedy is on 10 times the scale of anything I have even seen (as far as shootings go).

It is so sad that we as a people have gotten to a place where this is almost normal. "Oh, another shooting..." we say. Then we walk away and continue our day. But what can we do to genuinely help?

I say, if you cannot go and be a shoulder to cry on, then pray. Pray with everything you have in you. Pray in the Spirit. Fall on your knees and intercede for these people. Even though their tragedy is over, its effects will linger severely for a very long time. Pray for the strength of those who lost family and friends to senseless violence. Pray for those who have been through this kind of thing before, as it will rip their old wound open again. I know we will move on from this moment and life will eventually return to a form of normalcy for those involved. However, we mustn't forget to lift one another up, and to ask God to show us His hand in the midst of this storm. Pray.


Pray.


Thanks for reading,

Julie

July 9, 2011 (part 2)

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved."
~ Helen Keller

As of today, I have been away from home for 102 days. Thats is almost a third of the year. Wow.

Over the past week or so, I have been given a lot of opportunity to reflect on what has happened in those 102 days. It seems, as I have been chasing after God and His purpose for my life, that I have changed a lot as a person.

It is funny what a dramatic change in lifestyle will do to you. It affects you in every way, such as spiritually, emotionally, physically etc...

For me, one of the things that has made the biggest impression is that I continually see God's provision in every way. For the most part, I am not talking about finances. June was a rough month financially, but only because of unexpected visa related expenses. However, that is not what I am talking about.

I have seen God provide in a very big way for me in the area of healing. Now, I am not about to go all "Kenneth Copeland" on you or anything. The healing I am talking about is a little different than what you might think of off the bat.

As a minister for many years, it has been my experience that 99% of the time, when a preacher is preaching or a teacher is teaching, God is using that time of ministry to do something in the person who is delivering the message from the pulpit. I remember as a youth pastor, one of the best things about it was the ministry I felt God doing in me as I gave of myself to the kids. It is a unique experience.

This "logic" has not failed me on the missions field. As I give of myself in ministry here, even if it is only little by little as I am building something new, I have seen God minister to me in a huge way. He has given me people to walk this journey with, and he has used them in instrumental ways.

It is funny how time and time again I have seen God use my ministry time to talk to me. This trip has been the biggest example of His loving hand on my life that I have ever seen. He has taken emotional moments and used them to point out strongholds in my life that I had never even considered before. Although working through one's life with a "fine toothed comb" can be taxing emotionally, it is so worth it in the end, when you can walk out your front door a more confident person because of what God has done in you.

I know God is not done doing what He has to do in me, and I know there is much more to "clean up" in my life, but I also know that through the trial and pain come growth and confidence and a deeper relationship with God. I want nothing more than that. Refine me, oh Lord.

Thanks for reading,

Julie

July 9, 2011

“May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.”

Today I had a very unique experience. Well, I had many unique experience today, but I am going to focus on just one.

A little over two weeks ago my roomie, Kerri, had a guest arrive for a visit. We knew she would be coming for a visit from Kerri's home church in S. Africa, and we knew that she would be leaving today. Not that it is relative to my blog, but just so you get an idea of who she was, this lady had been working in Albania since 1996. She has LIVED in refugee camps in Africa, and is really one of the most inspiring people I have ever met. But, like all of us who have been here, her heart has always been in Albania. She is now 73 years old and was very happy to be able to visit Albania again. I can't say I blame her. Who knows, I may be here at 73 also.

In the past couple of days, I saw her start to get a little emotional at the idea of having to leave soon. Anyone who has ever been to Albania on a short term missions trip can probably relate to her emotions. It is always so hard to leave. I have done it 7 times, and every single time I feel like I am making a big mistake. Something in me wants to stay so badly, and yet I always seemed to watch the mountains pass by me as I leave again. Not this time...

My experience in taking her to the airport today was unique for one reason. I didn't leave. It was a huge accomplishment for me. I have never been to the airport here in Albania just to drop someone off. It was a crazy, emotional and wonderful feeling to be able to do that. I can finally say that I know I am in Gods perfect will for me at this time. I know I am supposed to be here, and even though it can be hard and I miss some things from home, such as lifestyle and friends, I know it is the right thing for me to do.

So I will stay.

July 1, 2011

The winds that blow through the wide sky in these mounts, the winds that sweep from Canada to Mexico, from the Pacific to the Atlantic - have always blown on free men. ~Franklin D. Roosevelt


It seems that Independence Day is on us again. It is, by far, my favorite holiday of the year. Since I was a little kid I have felt a deep devotion to the Red, White and Blue. I love America and I am so patriotic that I will shed tears every time I hear Francis Scott Keys infamous song. I think about what he would have been seeing when he penned those lyrics, and how it must have made him feel. I think about the people who gave their lives before they even knew or tasted the freedom they fought for. I think about the love of country that would, to this day, cause nearly every American to be willing to sacrifice their own life to keep what we have.

America is the longest standing Constitutional Democracy in the world's history. That makes us a historical figure as we stand in one of the world's ruling positions. It also, however, makes me realize that what we have and what we have spent decades and centuries building is a very fragile thing. Since it is once again the Fourth, I will choose to humbly remember and celebrate one more year of passionate, history making and freedom giving success in our country.

Maybe what I have in the way of patriotism is a higher dose than some of you out there. I do think that it is an amazing and ironic thing that God has chosen to put a strong passion for another nation, such as Albania, in the heart of someone who is such an American patriot. I do think that it could be His way of testing my faithfulness to Him. Of course I will give up the things I love most for His purposes. That will never be a question in my mind.

When I realized I would be spending this year abroad, I also realized that means that I will be the only person I know celebrating the 4th. It is a weird thing to not have anything to do. Maybe I will force my non-American friends to do a picnic with me. (Insert evil laughter here).

To my fellow Americans: If you are at home, please celebrate (responsibly of course) and take a minute to listen to the Star Spangled Banner play as the sight of fireworks fill the sky. Realize that the fireworks are used because they represent the "Bombs bursting in air" that lit up the sky so the Key could clearly see the victory of his flag still there. Our flag is still there. Celebrate for me.


Thanks for reading,

Julie

6-29-2011

Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same. ~Emily Bronte

We were introduced at the unlikely age of 8, by a source even more unlikely, our brothers who shared a Kindergarten class.

I hated you at first, because you were mean like my older brother and you thought it was funny when you spilled your water all over me.

We rode bikes together. We crashed bikes together. We fixed bikes together.

You once threw my bike in the road because you were mad at me. In return for your actions, I punched you in the face so hard that I knocked your retainer straight out of your mouth.

We rode in the bed of your dad's pickup truck together.

We laughed together at your little brother who pronounced it PEEEcup.

I beat you up when you made fun of my little brother.

We went to the free family swim nights at the local pool cause neither of our families could afford to pay to go during the day.

You once hit me in the head with a baseball bat.

I stole your Will Clark autographed baseball. I still have it, just in case you were wondering.

I loved your grandma as my own, and I still give her huge hugs when I see her.

We raised a puppy together. Even though Spike lived at my house, he was "our" dog.

I am still convinced that we made up 90% of the "Yo Momma" jokes out there.

We played backyard baseball together at least one hundred thousand times. I am so sure of that number that I would put money on it.

I'm pretty sure you still owe me over $100 for a few games of "PIG" we bet on.

We used to build bike ramps in your back yard.

Together, we threw footballs through the spokes of our brothers bikes while they were riding, and then laughed uncontrollably as they tumbled off in a wrecked mess.

We wrote books about imaginary adventures running away from home in the alley with our dogs.

We walked miles to the mall in blistering heat.

We lived through our family and parent issues together. I'm still kind of amazed we survived.

You gave me my first ever Valentine's gift, and I was so embarrassed that I gave it back to you.

Only you and I know what's funny about that old lady in IHOP.

We built "forts" made of plywood and old dump truck tires in both your back yard and in mine.

Every time I hear the song "Sweet Home Alabama", or watch the movie, I think of you.

We fought and made up at least 10 times over the years.

We smoked Marlboro's together, but only I could buy them cause I looked older.

We made movies about tornadoes and a music video to "Gangsta's Paradise".

We jumped over Mrs. Davis' bushes till she chewed us out so bad she nearly had a heart attack.

We (pardon the terrible expression) nigger knocked on crazy old Mrs. Stone's door more times than I can count.

We raked our neighbors leaves for money.

We set...uh...things... on fire.

We ran from weeble wobbles who could jumps fences, and then blamed it all on Ryan Thomas when we got caught.

We had the MOC club.

We raced each other in our first cars until you nearly plummeted into the back of a freaking cop.

We fixed our cars together.

You always helped me rotate my tires.

We worked at Chick-fil-a together.

We spray painted graffiti all over the sheds in your back yard.

We went to Kreamie Kream with our families almost every single day.

Your mom took me and my brother in while my dad was in the hospital, and my mom took you and your brothers while your mom was in the hospital.

I always knew that the things your mom said about you, and to you, were wrong. You are better than she could have ever wished for and you must realize that.

You taught me what a hushpuppy was.

We spent countless hours doing nothing productive in Walmart.

You came to church with me all the time. I loved that.

We loved each other in every way possible.

We knew each other in ways that we didn't even know ourselves.

I bought you your first suit, you gave me my first kiss.

When your dad died, I felt like I had lost a father of my own, and I felt every moment of your pain. The $200 big red roses at the funeral were from me.

I always knew that you deserved more credit than you would ever give yourself.

I wish you could love yourself the way I loved you.

In the end, my life has changed a lot, and I have to move on.

So, I am saying goodbye. Not just for now, but goodbye.

I cannot afford to have you in my life any longer.

I cannot wait for you more than I wait on God.

I pray that all of His goodness finds you, and that you feel accepted by a loving and real Heavenly Father.

I pray that you are happy.

That is all I can do.

I am letting go.

June 12, 2011

Let me just preface this entire blog by saying that I am a prisoner of Hope. Forever I am bound to God, always knowing that what He has ordered is what is right and that His timing, no matter what man says or what I feel, is always absolutely perfect.

Today I am writing about the situation I am currently facing and the Passion that dwells within my heart. I posted a blog the other day (that I have since removed from FB) about my "official announcement" that I will be staying here in Albania permanently. While that remains 100% true, I need to let you know what circumstance I am facing at the moment. Since I posted that blog, it seems an issue has come up with my visa. I am working day and night to fix it and am spending endless amounts of cash to overnight DHL documents. However, being that time is sensitive and my current visa will run out soon, I may be forced to return home for 90 days. I am praying that this will not be the case, and I am working on it in every way possible, however I am bracing for either outcome, good or bad.

I know God has called me to Albania, and while this roadblock is disappointing, I know that I will be back. I know I am called to touch a generation. I think back to when I was in high school and my friends who were attending a church meeting for youth were shot mercilessly at the hands of a crazed man. I think about how I feel every time I see the news of another shooting on the news. It troubles my heart in a way that few can understand. Why does wickedness always seem to chase after the next generation? I know that the devil wants to wipe out potential Godliness and change in future leaders.

I will not stand for it.

I cannot guarantee what will happen to any young person I know, however I can guarantee that they know Jesus as soon as possible and in a real way. I can guarantee that they move to touch their generation for Him RIGHT NOW, instead of waiting. I can guarantee that God has a definite plan for them. I can guarantee that as long as I have breath in me, they will know this.

Even if this visa speed bump becomes more of a road block, I know that the road will not be blocked forever. I will continue on the path that God has set before me, even if it is more difficult that I would like.

Please keep this situation lifted up in your prayers.

Thanks for reading!

Julie

June 8 2011

Big dreams, small dreams or no dreams... all will cost you the same: Your entire life.

For more years than I could really explain I have known that God had a big plan for me. Of course at certain points I knew for sure He would use me as a roller blading champion or as a rock star, but in the end what matters is that I knew He had something in mind for me. As I sit here, in Elbasan Albania, I think back to being a little girl sitting in a church pew hearing about how great missionaries were touching the world in their own way. My pastors were doing an enormous work right here in Albania and one of my favorite people in the world, Wil Ramsey, was traveling the globe with his job and ministering in every city he landed in. I remember his stories of secret churches in Egypt making my insides flip flop. I knew God had something for me to do.

So without further ado I will make an official announcement. As of tomorrow I will officially be a planted missionary here in Elbasan.

A lot of different emotions float through me as this dream finally begins to come to pass, but the one that is by far the strongest is thankfulness. I am thankful to God for taking a messed up teenager who was less than average and making me into someone He is proud of. That in itself is huge, and if nothing else would be enough to sustain me forever. However, I must take a moment to thank the people who have been instrumental in getting me on path to follow this calling.

First of all, there is a man named Allen Shook. Not only did this man raise me up under his pastorship for almost 15 years, but he took me in as a part of his family, when that is what I needed in a huge way. I am so thankful for all the hard work I saw this man pour out over a lifetime. I am thankful that he paved the way for me and hundreds of other missionaries and humanitarian aide workers to come into the nation of Albania. I am thankful for the spiritual things his leadership has taught me over the years. I am thankful for the financial wisdom I learned from watching him make decisions. I am thankful that he came to rescue me and his daughter when we wrecked his car on ice. I am thankful that he taught me how to drive a manual shift car. Most of all, I am thankful that he calls me "kid" and I call him "Pops". He means more to me than he will ever know. Love you Pops.

While I am on the subject of pastors, I will also express my thankfulness towards Brian Jacobs. When I came to Metroplex Family Church, I was wounded and broken by other church experiences. I though what I needed to do was to dive in and volunteer in the first place that I saw a need within the church. However many times, when I inquired about how I could serve, I was told by Pastor Brian that I needed to decide what area I would LIKE to work in. This threw me for a loop. I had never been in a church that wouldn't put someone to work. It frustrated me in a huge way, but in the end it also forced me to reconnect with God rather than just doing "His work" within the church. Because of this, I am able to say I am living out my dream and my calling (they will be the same if they are from God). Thank you Pastor Brian for all you do every day for your church. Your sweat, tears and fervent prayers do not go unnoticed.

I have to also say that I am thankful for my family and friends who have always supported me, even though I know sometimes they didn't exactly understand my passion. I have come to realize that only I can truly understand the unique call God has placed on my life. My friends have always been so awesome, seeing me through the good times and the tears along the way. A big shout out to all the Musketeers. Gloria, Michelle, Amy (in that order) I LOVE YOU! There are not enough words in the English language to convey the way I feel about you all. Love is the only word I can even come up with at the moment. Love you all. ~#4

Now I must come to the part of the blog that I will admit is the reason I began to think about writing on this particular topic. I have been so blessed along my journey to have met a great friend who has paved the way for me in ways that she will never realize. I know that our connection is from God, simply because of the way we met. You see this friendship is unique in that I am obviously American while she is from South Africa. The best part about it is that we met in Elbasan, Albania, the place where God had lead us both to by the heart. I met Kerri Nixon through a mutual friend. She was in Albania for a short missions trip, as was I, when we met at a local ice cream shop with a group of foreign missionaries. We just so happened to sit at the same table, got to talking and ended up hitting it off. We immediately realized we had the same passion and had had many of the same or similar experience regarding getting to Albania and trying to stay long term. We chatted for a while that night, had a quick shopping trip together the next day and that was the last time we saw each other for a very long time.

Years went by and eventually Kerri and I found each other on Facebook. Thank God for technology! We ended up swapping Skype addresses and for a couple of years we chatted. I made one other visit to Albania during this time, and got to spend a little time with Kerri, who had ended up moving to Elbasan permanently. As I planned for the trip I am currently on, I knew I would be spending some major time with Kerri, as our Skype friendship had grown so much over the years. I just had no idea how much time I would be spending with her, or how much she would help me.

It just so happens that upon deciding to permanently move to Albania I ended up being roommates with Kerri. Since I have made the move, I cannot describe how much our friendship has grown. We have gotten to a great place where we can tease each other to no end. That, however, is not even close to the best part of it all. Kerri has been so supportive of me in making the permanent move. She has supported me in ways that no one else could, because she knows exactly what I am experiencing as I transition. Today she walked all around town in ridiculous heat to make sure I had all my visa paperwork properly notarized and ready to hand in to the government.

In all honesty as I sit here, with her right by me in the living room, completely clueless that I am writing about her as we listen to a song that says:


"Ask and I'll give the nations to you. Oh Lord that's the cry of my heart. Distant shores and the islands will see your light as it rises on us."

I cannot think of a way to say thank you enough for all her support and friendship on this trip and over all the years. God brought together two of the most unlikely people with two very different personalities to touch the same nation with the same love of from the same Heavenly Father. It is amazing what God can do.

To Allen, Brian, Kerri, my friends and family: Thank you for supporting my calling. Thank you for holding my hand on the path to fulfilling my calling. My words cannot convey what all of you mean to me.

Thanks for reading!

Julie




PS- If you would like to partner with me in this mission to Albania, contact me @ julieshelley@gmail.com

May 22, 2011

I was looking through an old blog today and found an amazing entry. I thought I would share it here. And for the record, I have now been working in Albania for 9 years and this trip is my eighth. Enjoy!

If you ever have been to my office, you know that I have a wall wholly dedicated to pictures from my 5 Albania trips. Today, while working, one of the pictures caught my eye. It was a picture from my second trip (the one with Wil and his parents) of a group of people in a village called Surstan. I have visited this village every time I have been to Albania, and I have grown to know and love the people.



The thing that caught my eye about this picture was a face I had never before noticed in the crowd. I looked closer and realized something amazing. The face I was staring at was one of a person who, today, is a regular Sunday school teacher at Irfan's church. I have gotten to know her over the past 2 years or so. She is a teacher in another village, called Gjenavlage, and I have made a point to visit her and her students on every trip that I can.



I thought I had just met this lady within the past couple of years, but I guess I had met her even before that, on my second trip at the age of 18 (5 years ago), on a bright sunny day in the village of Surstan with Wil and his folks.



As I thought about this, my eyes and my mind drifted to other pictures in the collage. I saw one of Lindita's family before they moved to America. I remember when Wil showed her the pictures of our visit with her family, she asked "Who is that?"... pointing at her little brother Endri who had changed so much in the years she hadn't seen him that she didn't even recognize his face. I thought about how blessed I was to be there in the family's Albanian home when they received the papers that said they would be allowed to move to America. It was quite and experience and a great celebration.



Then I saw one of a bus we rented on my first trip to take people to be baptized in the Adriatic Sea. It was my first time to a beach on a sea or ocean. Is it so hard to believe that the first time I went to the ocean was after I had already flown for hours over one? This was such an amazing experience for me, not just the baptizing, but the whole first trip. I remember the long ride back to the airport to go home, I thought "Wow, I really don't know when I will ever see this place again... or if I ever will..." God knew better.



Well, needless to say I look back now and I am so amazed at the person God has made me. The first time I went to Albania, I was a young clueless teenagaer. Today, I have become a confident minister, I have grown to call these people family and they call me the same, I have a best friend who lives there, and I have my own ministry to the country which people are calling every day to be a part of. I am a blessed person to be able to do what I love every single day.



The last picture I looked at was the one that inspired me to write this. It was one taken of me on my most recent trip last October. I was standing in the church with a young man named Endri, who is Vera's nephew. He has been a pal of mine since day one. When he was little he used to go out to the villages with us every day and hang out at the mission house at night. I looked at that picture of him, now taller than me, and I glanced back over at another picture taken on my first trip. It was one of Endri and I standing in front of the mission house as we were loading up to leave for the airport to catch our flight home. He asked if we could take a picture together.



At that time, Endri only stood about as high as my chest. In the picture, he is wearing a blue and yellow torn up baseball cap that I had brought for myself but ended up giving to him because he liked it so much. He was wearing it all crooked and sideways like a little boy would if he thought he was trying to look really cool.



In comparing these 2 pictures I realized that this isn't just my hobby or some sort of past time, or even something meant to impress others. This is my life. I dreamed as a little girl at the ages of 8, 10, 12, 14, 16, and all the ages in between of going to Albania, preaching the gospel, and doing what I could to help the people who I knew were amazing before I even met them.



Today I am writing a blog, not about a minister who is changing a nation, but about a little girl who is SO lucky to be living her dream every single moment of every single day. I can only hope, pray and work to know that Endri, the little boy in my picture, lives to see his dreams come to pass in a country where people do not even have hope enough to believe in dreams. As we all know, God is faithful, and I believe that Endri and all people who dare to dream, will be blessed enough to live it out to the glory of God for all of their days.



Thank you to all of you who have had a heart for Albania and my vision there. Thank you for your prayers, donations, love and encouragement over the years. I have been there for 6 years (now 9) and I look forward to at least 60 more.

5/19/2011

This email was sent to me today by the Vice President and National Director of Faith Christian Fellowship. It is referring to the loss of our brother in the Lord, Gary Devoe. Yesterday, Gary suffered a fall in Switzerland while there to minister at FCF's international conference. The injuries he sustained from that fall lead to him passing away. It is a sad experience for the FCF family, and although we know where Gary is today, we ask that you keep his family, the Harrison family and the Faith Christian Fellowship Family in your prayers.



Yesterday I emailed you about the loss of our dear friend and brother, Gary DeVoe. I trust you are being comforted by the Holy Spirit today. The following article that Gary wrote in February 2009 has been a comfort to me this morning, and I trust it will comfort you as well. Let’s allow Gary to minister to us through this difficult time.



Ministering After a Tragedy

By Gary DeVoe
Media Director


Normally I enjoy preaching and jump at the chance to minister the Word. But in October 2003, I had to minister a message at a very difficult time. My wife and I were in Rogers, Arkansas, for some fellowship with FCF pastors and area representatives Buddy and Amy Gastineau.



About midnight on Saturday, the phone rang, and it was Buddy telling me about a tragedy that had just occurred. Orrie, a young boy in the church, had been killed during a Halloween hayride. Understandably, the family was devastated and grieving, and Buddy asked me to minister the following morning. I hung up the phone and asked the Lord, “What could I say that would bring hope, understanding, and healing?” Around 2:00 a.m., He showed me what I had learned from my encounters with death. The message helped that congregation, and I believe it will help you as you minister to your congregation during those difficult times following a tragedy.



Death Comes to Steal Innocence

One summer while in college, I was an intern for a small church in the small town of St. Francis, Kansas. I was still learning how to spell the word pastor; I knew nothing about being one. The pastor went away for ten weeks, and I was it. Then the funeral home called and asked for my help. A family had just lost its wife and mother to cancer and needed somewhere to have the service. I didn’t know any better. I just figured that you were supposed to say “yes” and do it. So I agreed without asking any questions.



Later that day I met the husband and his three little children. I asked about the family’s relationship with Christ, particularly the mother’s relationship with Christ when she passed away. But he didn’t comprehend what I was asking. The family had never set foot inside a church. They were lost. I remember looking in the eyes of those children, and I learned my first lesson about death: Death comes to steal your innocence.



We live in a world that is rampant with fear and sin, and our children are taught from the time that they are little that they must be afraid of everyone and every thing. Yet that is not what God’s Word teaches. The enemy will use death and tragedy to steal children’s innocence. Parents must put their foot down and say, “No, devil, you will not steal my children’s innocence. I bless my children. I pray for them and stand with them. I will sit with them and talk with them. I will protect them.”



In times of tragedy, parents need to hold their children, reassure them, spend time with them, and help them to recognize and realize that Satan never wins, regardless of what circumstances he throws their way. The devil has not won, he will not win, and he cannot win – because he is a defeated foe.



Pastors, encourage your congregation to be there for their children. Train your people how to be godly parents. Don’t just assume that people know because they come to your church or read the Bible. Teach them about God’s plan for the family and the joys and responsibilities of parenthood. Make your children’s ministry a priority.



Death Comes to Steal Our Hope

Many years later after I finished college and had several years experience as a pastor, a second incident happened. His name was Tyler. He was seven years old, had flaming red hair and freckles, and was all boy all the time. Tyler was my best friend at that time because he embodied everything I believed about the goodness and mercy of God. He was innocence personified.



One day I went to visit his parents who were dear friends of mine. We found Tyler in the basement in the process of burning a mattress. When we asked him why he was doing it, he said, “Because it’s here.” That was Tyler’s attitude: Whatever there was to do, he would put his hand to it.



Tyler never slept, never stopped, never slowed down. Then one day, Tyler just stayed in bed. His parents called to tell me that Tyler wasn’t feeling well and hadn’t been out of bed. So we prayed. We thought Tyler needed some sleep because he never slept much or slowed down. About a week later, we took Tyler to the hospital. The diagnosis was an aggressive liver cancer, unstoppable in the natural.



While Tyler was lying in his hospital bed, he taught me a valuable lesson. He was just a few days from being with Jesus. The doctor came into his room and said, “Tyler, I must listen to your heart.”



Tyler lifted his little head off the pillow and asked, “What heart do you want to listen to, Doc?”



The doctor said, “You only have one heart, Tyler.”



“Oh, no,” Tyler said, “I have two hearts. One heart where Jesus lives and one that pumps blood. Which one are you interested in listening to?”



Facing death, this seven year old knew that his hope was Jesus, and Tyler never let go of his hope. Death came to steal hope, but Tyler taught me to keep hoping.



Pastors, teach your people to continue to hope when all reason for hope has gone. Abraham kept hoping when there was no more reason for him to believe that he would have an heir. (Rom. 4:18.) The reason for hope doesn’t lie within our own abilities. The reason for hope is Jesus; He always keeps His Word. He said He overcame; therefore, we overcome. He promised a place for us; therefore, we have a place ready and waiting for us.



Death Comes to Steal Your Joy

In 1991, I moved to Tulsa, a broken and hurting man. Mess that I was, Buddy and Pat Harrison took me. They made me a son and poured their love and wisdom into my life.



Buddy was the father I never had. We love God, and we see God through the eyes of our natural fathers. My natural father was an emotionally mean drunk who always put me down. Consequently, I felt as if I were a loser and a failure. But Buddy Harrison loved me unconditionally, and I could see and understand God the Father through Buddy’s eyes, through the love of an earthly father.



Buddy taught me life’s greatest secret: Life is a choice. He said, “Every day I choose to love Jesus. Every day I choose to serve Him. I choose to believe His word, and I choose to act upon it.” Life is my choice. My life is not dictated by chance or circumstances. It is dictated by my choices.



Then in November 1998, death came again, and I learned that death comes to steal your joy. I was so angry at God, and I was angry at Buddy Harrison for going home to heaven. I hurt for many months.

Then one morning at 3:00 A.M., I sat up in bed, sobbing and crying as loudly as I could, “Why, God? Why, God? Why, God, did he die?” Thank God that He answers the whys in our lives. The sweet quiet voice of the Holy Spirit said, “Gary, Buddy did not live for you. Buddy did not die for you. Buddy was not raised from the dead for you. It was Me. Now honor Buddy for what he taught you, and go do it.” I found out that Buddy was not my joy. Jesus was and is and forever shall be my joy.



Pastors, teach your people who joy is and teach them how to rejoice at all times. Yes, children, spouses, careers, and so on can give a measure of joy. But the deep, abiding joy that sustains us through death and tragedies can only come from the source – Jesus.



Death Comes to Steal Your Faith

I never knew my natural grandfathers. They were dead before I was born. When the Harrisons adopted me, I finally had a spiritual grandfather, Kenneth Hagin. What fun I had being around him!



I particularly liked the times when he would share his experiences. I would listen in rapt attention, realizing that those were God moments. One time in particular stands out in my memory. He, Doc Horton, Alan Jackson, and I were sitting around the dinner table, and Brother Hagin and Doc Horton were reminiscing about the early days of Pentecost when signs and wonders abounded, such as instant healings of entire congregations and supernatural manifestations of the Holy Spirit. The presence of God was so strong at that table. Finally, I summoned the courage and asked, “Why don’t we see those things now?”



Brother Hagin looked at me and said, “Gary, I believe one reason is that we expected it. We went to church, and we expected God to move.” Then he recounted a story about David Dupleis and Smith Wigglesworth, with the point being Smith Wigglesworth’s reverence for God. Smith would get dressed in his finest when he was doing business for God. Then Brother Hagin said, “We don’t reverence God anymore like we used to.”



I cherished those times with Brother Hagin. Then he died in September 2003, and I discovered that death comes to steal your faith. Brother Hagin wasn’t supposed to die. He was supposed to be here for the Rapture. After all, he wasn’t human, was he? Everybody in Word of Faith circles knew that Brother Hagin would never die.



But then I remembered him saying one time, “If you hear I’m gone, you’ll know I was satisfied.” He’s gone because he was satisfied. And I had to stop death from stealing my faith.



Pastors, teach your people how to hold on to their profession of faith. The devil wants to stop our expectation of God’s moving and curtail our reverence for the Lord. Cynicism, bitterness, and doubt must not be allowed to rule. Jesus is still the author and finisher of our faith.



The devil will try to destroy one person in a family so that he can destroy the whole family. And he will use the destruction of one family to destroy a church. His plan is to get the family within the family of God to lose its hope, put away its joy, lay down its passion, and stop preaching the Good News. Pastors, teach your people to stand against the destruction of their innocence, hope, joy, and faith.



God Answers Our Whys

Mark 15:34 records one of Jesus’ statements that He made while hanging on the cross: “My God, My God, why have You forsaken me?” For years we have preached about Jesus’ experience of being forsaken while hanging on the cross, but we have failed to understand a vital truth. Any time in the ancient script when the first line of a psalm is quoted, it is quoted as referencing the entire psalm. So Jesus wasn’t just expressing His feelings of abandonment. He was quoting the entire Psalm 22.



As you read through the Psalm, you notice that the first twenty verses describe Jesus’ ministry and crucifixion experience. He was ridiculed and rejected by men: “I am a worm and no man; a reproach of men, and despised by the people. All those who see Me ridicule Me; they shoot out the lip, they shake the head, saying, ‘He trusted in the Lord, let Him rescue Him; let Him deliver Him, since He delights in Him!’” (vv. 6-8 NKJV).


Jesus suffered physically: “I am poured out like water, and all My bones are out of joint; my heart is like wax; it has melted within Me. My strength is dried up like a potsherd, and My tongue clings to My jaws; You have brought Me to the dust of death” (Psalm 22:14-15 NKJV).



Then the later part of verse 22 says, “You have answered Me.” And the rest of the psalm is one of praise and victory. “And all the families of the nations shall worship before You. For the kingdom is the Lord’s and He rules over the nations. All the prosperous the earth shall eat and worship. All those who go down to the dust shall bow before Him, even he who cannot keep himself alive. A posterity shall serve Him. It will be recounted of the Lord to the next generation, they will come and declare His righteousness to a people who will be born, that He has done this” (Psalm 22:27-31 NKJV).



Jesus quoted Psalm 22 not because He was forsaken but because He knew His end. He knew the victory, the joy that was set before Him.



Pastors, God answers our whys not with theology but with theocracy. With His presence. Thus, we must go to God, and we must train our people to go to God.



How We Can Help in the Difficult Times

How can the church help families who have experienced the death of a loved one? In times of great duress and pain, it is often best that we close our mouths and open our arms. The great comfort the church family can give is acts of kindness to show that they have not forgotten nor forsaken. They can fix meals, mow lawns, clean cars or houses, watch the children, or run errands.



Acts of service will speak louder during those times than words will ever speak. Often because we don’t know what to say or do during times of tragedy and grief, we back away. But that is not the time to back away. That is the time to become servants of God and show His love. Thus our communities will be amazed at our ability to galvanize our faith and our consistency in our hope in Christ. Yes, we may lose a person, but we haven’t lost Jesus.



Another important action to take during these times is to pray in the Holy Spirit. We may not know what or how to pray, but He does. That is one reason why Jesus gave us this marvelous gift.



Pastors, it is vital that you contact the family on important dates, such as the date of death, holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries. The devil will often use those days to bring the spirit of grief. Your contact helps the survivors through the rough spots because they know that you remember and that the church cares.


In the Word of Faith circles, some have taught that we don’t grieve. That is nonsense. We experience the feelings of loss and sadness. Grieving is a natural emotional process. But we are not to give into the spirit of grief because that spirit brings hopelessness and depression. Christians should never lose hope, the confident and favorable expectation of the Lord’s working on our behalf, because Jesus is our hope and our joy.



Lastly, remember that victory belongs to us. Death and defeat are not the end.



Let me end with this story. On June 18, 1815, the battle of Waterloo took place. The great English General Wellington commanded an army of British, Dutch, Belgian, and German soldiers to fight against Napoleon’s army. In those days, the armies employed signalmen or flagmen to send messages. These men were stationed throughout the area on the highest points so that the messages could be flashed from one area to the next and so on, until the message had been sent across an entire nation or continent.



As the battle raged and Wellington’s troops surrounded Napoleon’s army, the message flashed across the area until it reached the ship in the harbor. From there the message flashed from ship to ship until it reached England’s shore. At the shore, the signalman climbed the highest point and began his message: “Wellington defeated . . .” and the fog rolled in. Soon the message that Wellington had been defeated was flashed from church steeple to church steeple and from castle to castle across England. The nation was plunged into mourning. Somewhat later when the fog lifted in the harbor, the signalman climbed the highest point again. This time he finished his message: “Wellington defeated the enemy.”



Pastors, when the fog of grief has lifted, victory will come in. On the cross, Jesus appeared to be defeated, but His end was victory. So is ours.