Seasons

Life.

It seems like it is full of seasons. When you're little, life is like a dream. You eat, play, exist comfortably, go to school, come home and no one really bursts your little fairy-tale-world-bubble.

Then you become a teenager, and a struggle begins that can never end. Its all about independence and trust. You are fighting for both at every turn, but little do you realize...

...adulthood.

It means independence to the fullest. No one is ever going to buy your new pair of jeans again. No one is going to pay your bills. No one is going to fight your battles and no one is going to dream your dreams either.

Then there's trust.

Its something that I am personally rediscovering at many different moments over and over and over again. I lay it down, I let it go. I forget to trust, just for a moment. Then I realize, I need to trust. Trust that God will show me how to make ends meet. Trust that my friends will keep the secret I shared with them. Trust people not to break my heart.

Trust.

Seasons and trust seem so intertwined. To step into anything new in life, there has to be an element of trust. Starting a new job requires that we trust ourselves to do what is required of us. Getting involved in a new relationship requires us to trust someone else with our heart that we have guarded ever so carefully. Moving to a new place requires trust in God, that He will lead and direct us.

I have to say that on this road I have traveled, I have learned a lot about trust. To trust is to relax and let be. To trust, in a lot of ways, is to let go. Let go of old ideas. Let go of insecurities in abundance. Let go of thoughts that ask "what if?".

To some extent, I believe that trust and maturity go hand in hand. Seasons are starting to change for me. I am 2 days away from leaving America after an extended stay, and flying back to my home in Albania. So I am leaving home to go... home. Its weird. It requires trust and maturity.

Another season change I find myself facing is one that I never thought I could embrace. Within the next four months I will be celebrating the end of my twenty-something years. In April I will be ringing in my 30th birthday, and I have to say, I couldn't be happier about it.

When I was a teenager, I used to dread ever being this old. However, with each day that closes and each new one that begins, I find myself utterly excited about the future. About being 30. That takes trust. I could be asking God a lot of questions. I could be questioning career choices, asking why He hasn't given me a husband yet and I could be spending my savings on a BMW to make myself feel better.

Its just that I don't need to do that.

You see, the benefit of maturing... of learning to trust... REALLY trust... is peace. Contentment. Not the kind that stagnates, but the kind that makes life wonderful. I'm not sure if it takes everyone as long as it has taken me to find happiness and contentment in life, but I have to say, find it as soon as you can. Through trust.

My seasons are changing, and there are more possible changes in the next 6 months or so. Big changes. But thats ok. I've learned to roll with it, because God has got this. He holds my life right in His hand, and as I fail and fumble and fall along the way (sometimes every single step), He teaches me. He shows me. And I trust.

Just remember, in your search for contentment, search for trust. Search for the only source of real trust. There is only One Who can model this perfectly for us. He sent us to earth and gives us free will. He also trusts that we will do what He says. He guides us faultlessly. He does not trust that we will be perfect. He just doesn't lose His trust in us when we fail.

What a perfect model of unconditional love.

With all your heart...

...trust.

Thanks for reading,

Julie