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Saturday, July 9, 2011

July 9, 2011 (part 2)

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved."
~ Helen Keller


As of today, I have been away from home for 102 days. Thats is almost a third of the year. Wow.

Over the past week or so, I have been given a lot of opportunity to reflect on what has happened in those 102 days. It seems, as I have been chasing after God and His purpose for my life, that I have changed a lot as a person.

It is funny what a dramatic change in lifestyle will do to you. It affects you in every way, such as spiritually, emotionally, physically etc...

For me, one of the things that has made the biggest impression is that I continually see God's provision in every way. For the most part, I am not talking about finances. June was a rough month financially, but only because of unexpected visa related expenses. However, that is not what I am talking about.

I have seen God provide in a very big way for me in the area of healing. Now, I am not about to go all "Kenneth Copeland" on you or anything. The healing I am talking about is a little different than what you might think of off the bat.

As a minister for many years, it has been my experience that 99% of the time, when a preacher is preaching or a teacher is teaching, God is using that time of ministry to do something in the person who is delivering the message from the pulpit. I remember as a youth pastor, one of the best things about it was the ministry I felt God doing in me as I gave of myself to the kids. It is a unique experience.

This "logic" has not failed me on the missions field. As I give of myself in ministry here, even if it is only little by little as I am building something new, I have seen God minister to me in a huge way. He has given me people to walk this journey with, and he has used them in instrumental ways.

It is funny how time and time again I have seen God use my ministry time to talk to me. This trip has been the biggest example of His loving hand on my life that I have ever seen. He has taken emotional moments and used them to point out strongholds in my life that I had never even considered before. Although working through one's life with a "fine toothed comb" can be taxing emotionally, it is so worth it in the end, when you can walk out your front door a more confident person because of what God has done in you.

I know God is not done doing what He has to do in me, and I know there is much more to "clean up" in my life, but I also know that through the trial and pain come growth and confidence and a deeper relationship with God. I want nothing more than that. Refine me, oh Lord.

Thanks for reading,

Julie

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